Cortez Shivick(Chapter 5)

by ForeverYoung299

Published March 9, 2021

In Cortez Shivick

Neglecting Shayene's foreboding, they commenced making videos using the Chroma key technique. Within half year, Cortez had to receive calls day and night, reply to messages and comments on his account. His account had over 200 million followers. 

He barely had time to think about himself. But, there was a seed of fame which was sowed when he was in the university. Now, it has grown to a tree which only had words of fame and popularity. He was quite happy about that.

Cortez dressed up for the shoot, did a little hair styling for show-off and then sat on the plump chair just opposite to the green screen to memorise the script which Alvaro had given him. Alvaro was setting his camera after collecting the necessary pictures from the internet. 

PIPP– The phone rang loudly.

“Who is it? My fan?” asked Cortez excitedly looking towards Alvaro who was standing beside the phone. 

“Unknown number. Probably one of your fans” answered Alvaro handing over the phone to Cortez. 

“Hello.” Cortez said on the phone

“Sir!”the reply came, “I am a big fan of yours!”

“Thank you so much” answered Cortez grinning.

“Sir, right now, where are you? Will you shoot there?”

“Y–ye” stammered Cortez looking towards Alvaro but he didn't notice Cortez.“Actually I-I am in Paris.” Answered Cortez and ended the call. 

Cortez was tittering after the call but soon he became anxious by seeing the ghastly look of Alvaro's face which was ensued by a silence. Alvaro broke it by shouting, “You did a blunder!”

“Blunder! What blunder?” asked Cortez, his eyes widening.

“You shooted Paris before also.”

Cortez's hands were shaking and he couldn't feel his existence, his heartbeat skipped a beat and his body's temperature began to fall.“Seriously! Oh no!”he told in an inarticulate voice,“I forgot about it. Now, what to do?”

“You have to post then. But–”

“What but!”interposed Cortez, “We have to post it! Collect photos from wherever you can.”

“Okay. Okay. Calm down, I am trying.” said Alvaro moving towards the computer.

Cortez sat down on the chair with both his hands on his head which made his styled hair nasty. At last, they were found! Cortez again had to mug up the description of the places and a few monologues to tell during the shoot.

The shooting started after re-dressing his hair and also changing the outfit as the previous place is warm and Paris the opposite. 

While Alvaro was directing him to point towards the right, he did the reverse. Although this is an everyday scenario, today, Alvaro's head felt dizzy after the search for the photos.

“What's wrong? ” he yelled, “Can't you shoot properly?”

“Oh! What can I do?” answered tired Cortez.

“If you continue to do this, I will stop capturing. Then–”

“No, no. I am trying.”

While all these arguments were going on, another phone call came. Cortez almost ran towards it to receive the call which made Alvaro to put down the camera out of frustation.

“Hello. Who is it?” asked Cortez

“I am from Fire news. We decided to take an interview of yours. If you can come-” Fire news is the best news channel in the country.

“Ok. ok. Of course, I will come. When will I come?” Till then, Cortez abandoned all interviews in the tension that he might tell anything wrong, but this time he couldn't resist himself from telling yes.
“Tomorrow morning. Can you—”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Ok, sir. Thanks for your help.”

“Who was it? You seem overjoyed.” said Alvaro.
“A call came from Fire news. Tomorrow, they will take my interview.” replied Cortez.

“Oh. Awesome.”

“Yes.”

Comments & reviews · 5
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review Review · Sep 9, 2021

Hi Forever,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

Wow. One more chapter and you're already showing the downside of social media. I like the story and how it all developed from that first chapter where Cortez and Shayene met at the party. I like how you managed to develop and portray it that way. It has to be said that you have a very good structure that you are using here and I am very curious to see what the coming chapters will look like.

Cortez seems to be extremely central here. 200 million people is a lot. Are there any celebrities who have that many followers? In any case, it quickly becomes apparent that Cortez, despite his drive for popularity, is very afraid of fans and doesn't know exactly how to react to them. Also, I'm glad we've seen more of Alvaro here and how he's different. Especially towards the end, I like the development of how a kind of short argument develops. I think you've done a good job with that.

I also find it very exciting that Fire News then calls for an interview after such chaos has ensued, and I hope that we will be able to accompany this interview as readers instead of switching to a new timeskip. Right now, I want to know more about Cortez and maybe Shayene as well, since they are now on top of their game, so to speak.

I don't have much to fault here and have to say that from chapter 3 or 4 or so you have my full attention for the story! :D

Actually I only wanted to read one chapter of your story, but now I'm already in chapter 5. What else can you say about it?

Other points that caught my eye:

Chroma key technique.

Is this a real technique?

“Who is it? My fan?”

Here it sounds a bit, like Cortez has only one fan. I would rewrite it to “A fan?”

“I am from Fire news.

Fire news sounds like the name of a company, so the “news” should be written with a capitalisation.

“Oh. Awesome.”

Alvaro´s reaction to this isn´t really motivating. It sounds more like a bored guy. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice

User avatar
deleted48
Review
deleted48 wrote a review Review · Mar 9, 2021

'Ello again! I guess you know me already, so I should cut that out of my reviews haha.

PIPP– The phone rang loudly.


Not sure what kind of sounds that is supposed to make, so maybe a ringing or a vibration or anything else. I really enjoy some onomatopoeia, and I think it's a great thing to have in writing, but some words just don't work well.

Alvaro broke it by shouting, “You did a blunder!”


I feel like this would be better as a question instead of an exclamation because screaming at someone always ends badly.

I've been mentioning this in all my other reviews, but I must call out the tone of dialogue once again too. It's so much better than it started out as, but it still has some small details that end up messing with the tone.

Fire news is the best news channel in the country.


"Best" is a bit of a weak word; is there any other way to show that they are very important without just telling the reader? "In the country" is also somewhat an overplay of everything, but it can remain the way it is.

Ahh good job again! I'm really enjoying watching you grow as a writer!

lum

Thank you so much. Glad that I am improving

User avatar
MapleWay
Review
MapleWay wrote a review Review · Mar 9, 2021

Hey! MapleWay here with a review!

This was a tension-filled chapter! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time just waiting for him to get caught. And even though the Chroma key technique is giving him lots o followers now, if or when he gets caught he will lose everything.

While Alvaro was directing him to point towards right, he did the reverse. Although this is an everyday scenario, today, Alvaro's head felt dizzy after the search for pho;tos.


Two things here. One where it says, "While Alvaro was directing him to point towards right, he did the reverse." It should be towards the right. And two, I'm not sure why there is a ; in photos. I would probably remove that.

Within half year, Cortez had to recieve calls day and night, reply to messages and comments on his account. His account had over 200 million followers.


Wow! This has got to be a world record! It also shows that Cortez will do anything for his dream. Even if he has to be dishonest with his fans and work day and night. Also there should be a hyphen in half year and in the word recieve [b]e[/b should go before [b]i[/b.

Anyways great fifth chapter! And for some reason, while I was writing this review I thought of a good synonym for Cortez and popularity. "He was drunk on popularity as a bear was drunk on honey." I don't know if it's good but it came to me for some reason. If you want to use it for this chapter or even a future one go ahead!

%u201CAnd two, I'm not sure why there is a ; in photos. I would probably remove that%u201D
That was a typo. I will delete that one and I will edit the earlier one also.
%u201Cword recieve [b]e[/b should go before [b]i[/b.%u201D
It's also a typo.

%u201CHe was drunk on popularity as a bear was drunk on honey%u201D
Great line. I will probably use it in the next chapter. Thanks for the review

No problem!

TheOffBroadwayAuthor wrote a review Review · Mar 9, 2021

Great job with those details! I was more invested in Cortez's story this time around. I think the interview will be a great opportunity to see how Cortez presents himself to the public. You do have a few grammar errors, though, so I recommend you run this through spell-check. Aside from that, your dialogue is a little stilted. I'm sure you've heard this tip before, but try to pay attention to how people speak and text in conversations and apply that to your work. Great job! Good luck with the next chapter!

Thanks. Glad that this one is better than the earlier one



It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
— Neil Armstrong