Published August 7, 2019
A cold morning breeze blew past Viper as he stood in front of the large wooden gates leading out into the world beyond. The dark sky was still littered with stars that hadn’t yet been chased way form the unrisen sun.
The three large moon’s light shone down on the cold sand, turning it into a warm milky color. Viper’s shadow stretching out along the sandy ground. Another cold wind blew past him, sending shivers down his spine. A cold sweat began to run done his face as his racing heart pumped adrenalin into his body. Worried thought racing through his head. Was this happening? Was he going to do this? This mission is nothing he’s done before, infiltration is something he’s been trained but he’s never done it. Will he be able to do it?
A wing brushed against his side knocking him out of his worried thoughts. “You’ll do fine, I believe in you two, that is why you are being sent.” Venom said, his voice soft. The kindness in his eyes the one of a father proud to see his dragonets go out into the world. Venom looked over to Nuddia and gave her a nod. “You two know what needs to be done.”
With a small bow, Nuddia jumped into the air, her wings fanning out around her, as she flew into the dark sky.
Viper watched her fly away, his heart sinking as it all suddenly dawned on him. The whole tribe relied on him to do this! What if he couldn’t? What if he failed?”
“Viper, trust Nuddia, and she will trust you. I know together the mission will go as planned.” Venom reassured, his eyes holding anew light.
“Yes, sir.” Viper managed to get out, his heart still pumping. With a small nod, he jumped into the air and flew after Nuddia. Venom’s words ringing through his head, what did he mean by ‘trust Nuddia.’ does he think he believes Nuddia can’t do it. No that can’t be it, it must be another reason behind it, but what?
“You okay?” A soothing voice spoke next to him.
Viper looked over to see Nuddia’s worried face, her eyes no longer holding the joy they used to. “Yeah, just thinking about something Venom said.”
Arching an eye crest Nuddia flew a bit closer. “What did he say?” The small spark in her eyes returning.
“That I should trust you. I mean I already do, so I’m not sure what he means by it. Do you?” Viper asked, looking towards Nuddia in hope she would have some idea.
Quickly backing away from Viper, Nuddia looked way. “No, I don’t know. You know Venom always likes to talk in code.”
Frowning Viper looked at the ground. What was going on with Nuddia, did she know something he didn’t? If she did he needed to know, it could affect the mission. Viper quickly shook his head. It didn’t matter right now, he’ll talk to her about it later.
Both dragons slowly made their way down south in the direction of Onyx Valley. A cold silence surrounded them as they flew. Both were left to their thoughts.
A loud screech echoed out through the endless wasteland, the call sending a small shiver down Viper’s spine when he heard it, he knew very well what it was, and he had no plans to run into the owner of the voice.
Viper glanced over at Nuddia who looked at him with the same look of knowing. “We should be fine at this height.” He said his eyes scanning the dark ground below.
Nodding her head Nuddia tipped her wings to the right. “Let’s hope they don’t see us and follow us into Whispering Forest.”
Viper knew what would happen if the Doomtors did, they had to get the food to keep their strength up at some point, and if they were trying to defend themselves from rappers they won’t get the food they need. “Let’s just pick up the pace.” He finally said looking towards the dark land that stretched onward.
“Viper, do you think the elders were right to send us on this mission?” Nuddia asked doubt in her voice, her eyes looked over at him, they held the worry he had been feeling for a long time now.
“To be honest I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and the best thing we can do is trust each other and finish the mission.” Viper answered plainly, his eyes holding know emotion. He had to be strong, the whole village depended on him, and if he could bring down an Onyx Wyvern in a few moves he could infiltrate their kingdom. It’s not like his alone ether.
Letting out a sigh Viper looked behind him at the sinking moons, their milky light now being drowned by the soft colors of the rising sun, the warmth of the morning slowly made its way over the horizon, casting the cold desert floor in warmth.
Swinging his head back around Viper looked forwards again, a large carpet of green cascading before them. The lush forest greener then you would expect it to be in these parts.
Small streaks of brown dashed across the desert floor below Viper and Nuddia into the forest, leaving behind no trace of them being out. Viper’s eyes quickly looked below him to see the last few animals scurry into the shelter of the trees in the distance.
“Looks like we won’t be hunting in Forest of Whispers, I just saw the Doomtors run into it.” Viper said scanning the ground again for a sine for any more rappers.
Nuddia let out a sigh, “We will have to hunt birds. They’re not ideal pray, but they will do the job.” Her eyes landed on the greenery ahead, a small spark appeared in her eyes, as she saw a few birds fly off in the distance.
“When do you think we will make it to Onyx Valley?” Viper asked as he too watched the birds fly off.
“Maybe a day or two if we keep moving,” Nuddia said without even thinking about it.
Silence once again fell upon the two dragons as they flew, Viper cast a glance over at Nuddia her face was stern and it looked like she had all her emotions under control. Looking away Viper groaned to himself, he was the eldest of the two, and yet he keeps thinking over the same thing. Why can’t he be like Venom who can keep his emotions out of the job?
Viper quickly shook his head, no he needed to focus if anything goes wrong the whole mission would have been for nothing.
The warmth of the morning sun now fully risen beat down on the desert below, its warmth slowly warming up Viper’s cold scales. He closed his eyes allowing himself to enjoy the peace.
It felt like hours had passed before Viper and Nuddia began to fly over the carpet of leaves. Slowly the two dragons began to dissent towards a gap between the trees.
Viper grind to himself when he saw birds of all shapes and sizes dart out of the way, flying deep into the forest, the dark shadows dulling their bright colors.
Soft strands of lush green grass met Viper’s hard talons as he landed, it didn’t hold the warmth of the sun like the sand did, but it wasn’t cold to the touch. Viper looked over at Nuddia who landed behind him who gave him a look that told him she was ready for the hunt.
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
Okay let's continue this. I really have to speed up now. I've had more work added to tonight's schedule by You-Know-Who.
First Impression: Well nice bit of flying here. Lot's of questions asked by Viper. That does a great job of getting us thinking on what might happen next so good on that. And we learn a bit more about Nuddia's personality which is also great.
Anyway getting right to it,
Great entrance except that should be by.
The thoughts really need to be in first person here. Or it sounds a little off.
Well that was very cryptic.
I like this little touch of tension that gets introduced.
Took her a long time to ask that question. A bit too long I think.
That needs to be replaced by he was.
Another great example of some amazing description. That's been on point this entire story so far. There has never been any weak descriptions in this story.
It should be descend.
And we're in the forest.
Okay that's it for this chapter.
Overall: In the grand scheme of things nothing much happened but we learnt quite a bit of much needed information about Nuddia's personality. And a bit about the dangers they are about to face. Overall pretty good chapter.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Yes I just saw she posted! Enjoy the chapter.
yes this story is rather slow.
Anyway thanks for the review!
Your Welcome!!!
A shorter chapter! Not bad in itself, this is clearly mostly for increasing the tension until the action explodes. I presume it will in next chapter, so a cliffhanger would suit very well here in the end.
Here are more of the inner thoughts I had wished for in the previous one, good. Now it's implied that his companion knows something that he doesn't know; but it's just said briefly. It's good if it gets answered later, but some more inner doubts would be better.
Not much to say here on grammar, although you switch from past to present when writing Viper's inner monologue. You should keep the past as it is the time of narration.
Again thank you for the review, it helps that i did add some of the things in that chapter that you wanted in the last, so I didn't skip it all together, so it made me feel a bit better!
I think you will like the next chapter!
Wow- the way you opened up this chapter was amazing. I really liked how u described the early morning. So beautiful and seemed so effortless. I've struggled with that depiction for quite a while so that's my favorite description you've done yet!
Again with all the secrecy surrounding Nuddia! I've heard that it's good for a woman to be a bit mysterious but this is killing me. Is Nuddia an Onx? Does she possess a secret skill? And if she does possess a secret skill, why is it secret? No need to answer these questions cause I don't want spoilers. But post the next chapter soon!
-Shield
Thanks for the review Shield, and don't worry all this thing will be answered in time, and I will post the next chapter soon! I must keep you hooked some how, so not telling you everything at the beginning seems to be working! *evil laugh*
So true!!! Ha ha (meek laughter)
XD
Hullo!! Its me the one the only Awruuuuu. I am really happy you showed us this fatherly aspect of Venom's personality. I think it was important that bottling up emotions and having no emotions should've been clarified.
I love this description but away from
OMG! They have 3 moons.O.o. The adrenaline line was a bit scientifically unstable. Adrenaline is a hormone it is not released by heart. It is released by Adrenal Medulla of kidney in the conditions of Fight and Fear. I should know nowadays we are studying Endocrine Glands in Human Body. This line kinda gave the sense that heart released Adrenaline but ofcourse i might be understanding it wrongly.
These lines seemed a tad bit off key. You should have started by saying sth like thoughts clouded his mind and then write these lines. Also the lines lack a bit of emotion and the structure doesn't feel right. You might wanna change that. It really disrupts the flow.If you want help with it ask!
Fishy very fishy*scratches beard*
I know you r daring but 3 knows in one sentence. Gurl u r gonna start a war.
His eyes scanning the dark ground below
Hehehe!! I never really liked rappers.
Scratches beard again
No
Following in your teachers footstep eh Viper
Sign!!
Screw u Rappers
I pray u get good prey Mr Fraey
Feel like its better this way
dissent....descend
Dang!! Why do they look at each other soo much.
I always love your descriptions but this time you used the word lush soooooo many times and also green.
There are millions of ways nature beauty can be described but you didn't worked hard with it. It can be improved.
Thats that. Loved it like always <3
Keep Up the Excellent Work
peace out
Thanks for the review, I new this chapter needed some work so you pointing out those things really helped! I'll try and fix it when I get the time!