A Fight for Survival ~ Darkness Approaches Chapter 11

by FlamingPhoenix

Published October 2, 2019

E - Everyone

In A Fight for Survival ~ Darkness Approaches

A cool wind blew through the forest. Dislodging the small leaves that could no longer hold onto their branches. Viper breathed a sigh of relief as the last of the food he and Nuddia had coat was finished off. Licking his lips he slowly stood up, stretching his muscles as he went.

“We should get moving again.” Viper said over his shoulder to the dragoness that was haply lying in the sun, looking like she had no interest in moving. Lifting his head he took a sniff at the air, instead of the lush smells of newly bloomed flowers a fowl rotting meat filled his nose, letting out a snort of disscust he looked back at Nuddia again.

Letting out a low groan she groggily rose to her feet, stretching her mussels as she went. The sleep that was clouding her eyes before now gone as she stretched and gets ready for the long trip ahead of them. “Yeah let’s get going.”

Not even looking to see if Nuddia was following him, Viper began to walk through the trees he body weaving between them with no trouble. As he walked he looked towards the ground something bothering him. Nuddia and him never went over how they were going to get into Onyx Valley before they left.

“Nuddia can we talk quickly.” He called to her over his shoulder.

Looking up at him she nodded. “Sure.” She hurriedly walked up to him so they were walking side by side. “What is it?” She asked.

Letting out a heavy sigh Viper said. “We never went over our plan, how are you going to get into Onyx Valley?”

Nuddia nodded in understanding. “Ah, I see. Well, I know a few things that could help.” She flicked away a small stone at her feet as she walked.

“Like what?” Viper asked starting to get interested, not many dragons new a lot about the Onyx Wyverns, and none of them knew about their kingdom, so what does she know?

Nuddia sat down on the ground curling her tail around her talons as she thought. “Well I know their kingdom is surrounded by a mountain, it is able to keep outsiders out, I think they may have dragons on guard duty, but I was thinking about this through the caves and I don’t think Onyx Wyverns can see things from far away, I read something about their eyesight in a book ages ago.” She stopped and looked at Viper who had sat down and was now listening intently. “So I thought if we flew in low to the ground under the cover of darkness they won’t see us coming.”

Viper nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” Not wanting to let Nuddia no Viper turned away from her and frowned, how she knows all that stuff, the books on the Onyx Wyverns hardly had any information in them. He has even read over the book a thousand times, and half the things she said weren’t even in it. “Anything else?” He asks.

“Yeah, they train the recruits near the beach, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling because it’s safer down there, but that doesn’t matter. Though I know if they would be holding a meeting they probably will be doing it in the mountain, where they won’t be heard. But as far as that goes I don’t know anything else.” Nuddia stated before standing up.

Breathing in a large breath Viper asked. “How do you know about that? No one has been to Onex Valley before.”

What looked like horror spread onto Nuddia's face. "Umm, a hunch I guess, I mean it makes the most scents. They would put the fort near the beach, because they can train their younger generation and it would be safe, and holding the meeting in the caves in what I would do.” She said quickly, the fear that was on her face now in her voice. She shifted on her talons as she awaited Viper's response.

Viper stood up after her. “I think the best thing to do is climb the mountain wall, we will still be covered by the shadows.” He tapped his talon on the floor as he thought. “And it will probably be best for us to sneak into the mountain first to get most of the information,” Viper explained, not wanting Nuddia to n he knew something was up.

Nodding in agreement Nuddia began to walk through the trees, her long thin tail sliding along the floor after her. “We need to hurry it’s already midday.”

Viper got to his feet and walked after her, the same smell from before rushing past his nose. Still keeping his eyes open for anything that could be lurking in the trees, he didn’t know these parts of Lavvania, meaning he didn’t know if there were any threats out there.

‘Something is going on here, and she isn't telling me any of it.’ Viper thought. Knowing later he had to find out what is going on. ‘Maybe I can ask Venom about it when we get back.’

The heat of the sun no longer warmed Viper’s body as it slowly began to sink behind the trees that surrounded them. To Viper, the cool air that blew was all he needed, it allowed his muscles to relax as he walked. Closing his eyes Viper listened to the rustle of the leaves that moved like a dance to the breeze.

Looking up Viper could see that the blue sky was beginning to darken, and he wanted to get to Onex Valley before sunrise. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread.

The two dragons moved quickly through the lush green forest. Wanting to get to Onex Valley before sunrise. They picked up their pace to a slow trot. Just hopefully things go as planned. There is a large chance that they could run into more Doomtors along the way, and maybe something even worse.

Viper shook his head at the thought. He didn’t want to know what was out there, he still thought that the animals that lived in the caves they just came from were still alive, just in hiding.

Let’s just hope it stays that way. Viper thought with a shudder, fear running through his body. If he told Nuddia his thoughts, she would just tell him he was being a skittish dragonet and was being silly to believe in myths from old stories. But he couldn’t help but think they were real.

Without a word, Viper and Nuddia crept through the thick forest, the whisper of the leaves on the tall trees the only thing that can be heard. The sun now behind the trees, it's light no longer laminating the sky, everything began to go dark. The new moons now rising into the sky radiated no light on the thick forest below.

A cold wind blew past Viper’s face, making him stop in his tracks, his eyes going into slits. He could feel Nuddia stop next to him. Her large black eyes also going into thin black slits. ‘What is that?’ Viper looked to his left, his eyes scanning the trees that surrounded them. He knew that it could have been an old sent on the wind, but he knew it was something more.

“Let’s just keep moving, it couldn’t have been much.” Nuddia whispers, braking Viper out of his thoughts.

Nodding his head, Viper began to follow the lean dragoness through the quiet, dark woods, his scales prickling along his back with uneasiness. He had no idea how Nuddia could be so calm, there was a very good reason why they weren’t allowed out after sunset, and yet she didn’t seem to mind.

Viper focused on the now dark forest around him, a strange feeling began to tug at him, it seemed like the shadows around them began to move. But he knew that the Doomtors wouldn’t come through Twisted Caves to hunt, everything was afraid of that place. So they were safe…for the time being.

The time seemed to fly by as the pail moons rose further into the dark sky, the small stars making it look like a carpet of untold secrets. The pale light of the moons reflected in Viper’s eyes as he looked up, wondering what the next day would hold.

Closing his eyes Viper breathed in the air of the forest, and the faint scent of pray. Opening his eyes, they quickly go into slits, as he picks up another sent he knows shouldn’t be there. He thought the sent was old before, but this one smells fresh, and he remembered it from the caves.

Stopping in his tracks he looked around him, his eyes looking through the gloomy forest around them. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Nuddia stop and look around a look to kill on her face. Still uncertain he looked around him again, glad that he and Nuddia had walked into a clearing. Trying to block off all sounds from the forest, he tried to listen for the sound of an animal stalking them. But he could hear nothing.

Frowning he looked at Nuddia and just flicked his tail at her, telling her to keep moving. Still eying the shadows Viper kept moving, keeping his guard up. Not wanting whatever it was to sneak upon them. He knew he didn’t need to tell Nuddia, it was quite apparent she hadn’t picked up the faint scent on the wind.

It didn’t take long until Viper heard a faint rustling in the bushes around them. He could see Nuddia stop a little away, away from him, her eyes looking at the bush that the noise came from. He knew very well that the noise was too loud to be any type of pray. Edging towards the bush, he picked up the sent he had smelt on the wind twice that day. Screwing up his nose with disgust he jumped back from the bush as if it had electrocuted him. His eyes narrowed and his teeth bared.

Breathing in a large breath he felt the spark of a flame ignite inside him, it slowly made it way up to his throat as he got ready to shoot. Waiting a few more seconds he let it loose, the fire hurling towards the bush, sending it into orange whistling flames.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2020

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And we march on into the final three chapters.

First Impression: Lots of things to think through now with regards to Nuddia. And it looks like it's finally time for the final stage of the plan.

Letting out a low groan she groggily rose to her feet, stretching her mussels as she went. The sleep that was clouding her eyes before now gone as she stretched and gets ready for the long trip ahead of them. “Yeah let’s get going.”


Well that was a quick turnaround. Also it should be got.

Letting out a heavy sigh Viper said. “We never went over our plan, how are you going to get into Onyx Valley?”


Okay this is definitely a conversation that they should have had much, much earlier than this.

Nuddia sat down on the ground curling her tail around her talons as she thought. “Well I know their kingdom is surrounded by a mountain, it is able to keep outsiders out, I think they may have dragons on guard duty, but I was thinking about this through the caves and I don’t think Onyx Wyverns can see things from far away, I read something about their eyesight in a book ages ago.” She stopped and looked at Viper who had sat down and was now listening intently. “So I thought if we flew in low to the ground under the cover of darkness they won’t see us coming.”


Very very interesting that she would know all of this. And that trust Nuddia nonsense is also making a lot more sense now.

hat looked like horror spread onto Nuddia's face. "Umm, a hunch I guess, I mean it makes the most scents. They would put the fort near the beach, because they can train their younger generation and it would be safe, and holding the meeting in the caves in what I would do.” She said quickly, the fear that was on her face now in her voice. She shifted on her talons as she awaited Viper's response.


Well that definitely is not the behavior of someone who just had a hunch.

“And it will probably be best for us to sneak into the mountain first to get most of the information,” Viper explained, not wanting Nuddia to n he knew something was up.


I think that should be know that

The heat of the sun no longer warmed Viper’s body as it slowly began to sink behind the trees that surrounded them. To Viper, the cool air that blew was all he needed, it allowed his muscles to relax as he walked. Closing his eyes Viper listened to the rustle of the leaves that moved like a dance to the breeze.


Nice bit of imagery there.

A cold wind blew past Viper’s face, making him stop in his tracks, his eyes going into slits. He could feel Nuddia stop next to him. Her large black eyes also going into thin black slits. ‘What is that?’ Viper looked to his left, his eyes scanning the trees that surrounded them. He knew that it could have been an old sent on the wind, but he knew it was something more.


Things are getting very tense now.

Closing his eyes Viper breathed in the air of the forest, and the faint scent of pray.


Should be prey

Frowning he looked at Nuddia and just flicked his tail at her, telling her to keep moving. Still eying the shadows Viper kept moving, keeping his guard up. Not wanting whatever it was to sneak upon them. He knew he didn’t need to tell Nuddia, it was quite apparent she hadn’t picked up the faint scent on the wind.


Is there a reason that she didn't pick up this scent?

Breathing in a large breath he felt the spark of a flame ignite inside him, it slowly made it way up to his throat as he got ready to shoot. Waiting a few more seconds he let it loose, the fire hurling towards the bush, sending it into orange whistling flames.


Oooh!! Looks like we have an action scene up ahead.

And that's it for this one.

Overall: Well this chapter was really interesting. Lots of intriguing developments and setting up what seems like it would be an epic action scene.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Thank you for the review Harry! I think you might like the next chapter!

Your Welcome!!!
I am on it right now.

Just finished it. Now onto the final chapter.

I just finished reading the review! XD

User avatar
Miraculor77
Review
Miraculor77 wrote a review Review · Oct 3, 2019

Hi! I'm here to get your work out of the Green Room. :)

I'm just going to read through and drop comments/critiques along the way. Most of the nitpicks are going to be at the beginning. I'm sorry if my review seems harsh, I promise I'm not trying to be mean. Just remember that the suggestions below are just that: suggestions. It's up to you whether or not you want to use them.

A cool wind blew through the forest. Dislodging the small leaves that could no longer hold onto their branches.

These two sentences do a lot to describe the scene, but they seem a little choppy. Consider combining them: A cool wind blew through the forest, dislodging the small leaves that could no longer hold onto their branches.

Viper breathed a sigh of relief as the last of the food he and Nuddia had coat was finished off.

The bold word is either unnecessary or could be replaced with something else. Perhaps it could be replaced with "brought."
Interesting name choices. Viper and Nuddia. I think I read the prologue of this a while back. Am I right in thinking that both Viper and Nuddia are dragons?

“We should get moving again.” Viper said over his shoulder to the dragoness that was haply lying in the sun, looking like she had no interest in moving.

That period (bolded) should be a comma.
Also, I'm pretty sure that the bolded word is a typo, and that you meant "happily," not "haply."

Lifting his head he took a sniff at the air, instead of the lush smells of newly bloomed flowers a fowl rotting meat filled his nose, letting out a snort of disscust he looked back at Nuddia again.

You used the word "fowl," which means 'bird.' I think you meant "foul," which pretty much means 'disgusting.'
The sentence feels too long, so you should consider changing the comma to a period, with the word "letting" be the start of the next sentence.
"Disscust," as far as I know, is not a word. Perhaps you meant "disgust"? You should also put a comma after "disgust" if you are making it into a separate sentence.

Letting out a low groan she groggily rose to her feet, stretching her mussels as she went.

Typo. The word is "muscles," not "mussels."

The sleep that was clouding her eyes before now gone as she stretched and gets ready for the long trip ahead of them.

You should put the word "was" between "before" and "now."
Also, you switched tenses for the word "gets." Past tense would be the word "got."

Not even looking to see if Nuddia was following him, Viper began to walk through the trees he body weaving between them with no trouble.

"He" should be replaced with "his," and there should probably be a comma after "trees."

Nuddia and him never went over how they were going to get into Onyx Valley before they left.

"Nuddia and him" should be replaced with "He and Nuddia." This is because the word "him" is used to indicate the object of a sentence, and the word "he" is used to indicate the subject of a sentence. In your sentence, Nuddia and Viper are the subjects, not the objects, which is why the word "he" should be used.

Letting out a heavy sigh Viper said. “We never went over our plan, how are you going to get into Onyx Valley?”

That period should be a comma.
I do like the names you chose for your story; Onyx Valley is yet another intriguing name. :)

“Like what?” Viper asked starting to get interested, not many dragons new a lot about the Onyx Wyverns, and none of them knew about their kingdom, so what does she know?

This feels like a run-on sentence. I rewrote it below to give you an idea of how it could be easier to read (the changes are in blue):

"Like what?" Viper asked, starting to get interested. Not many dragons knew a lot about the Onyx Wyverns, and none of them knew about their kingdom, so what did she know?

Nuddia sat down on the ground curling her tail around her talons as she thought.

There should be a comma between "ground" and "curling."
I like how you show the natural tendencies of the dragons in your chapter, it makes it seem much more believable.

Alright. I read the rest. So far, most of the errors that stood out to me (and I think they're errors, but it's your call on if you think they are) are that you misplace punctuation and either write sentences that are too choppy or write run-on sentences. Your dialogue is okay, you sometimes mix up your tenses, and you have typos.

But your description is amazing, and the way you portray the dragons' personalities is good.

Overall, I think that this is a decent chapter with a good story behind it and a lot of potential.

Keep writing,
- Mira

Thank you so much for the review, I will go back and fix everything when I get the chance.
Yes Nuddia and Viper are dragons.

User avatar
nateherndon Review
nateherndon wrote a review Review · Oct 2, 2019

“All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.” – Calvin Coolidge I sent this to you because your such a good writer and I love your stories.you stay strong and keep up the good work.dont let anyone tell you to stop being yourself and keep doing what you love to do.“Don’t give up. The beginning is always the hardest. Life rewards those who work hard at it.” – Unknown.so like I said keep up the great work.keep sending those good chapter in your novel.your also so talented I love your work.

Thanks for the kind words! :D



Mariah Carey
— WFP chat in Holiday Trivia Night (2025)