Sun beats down on the backs
of giraffes on the open plains
Before they get slaughtered.
Responsibility falls to the owners
of guns on the open plains
Before they get tortured.
That aestive heat has threats
of new life on the open plains
Before you get frozen.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hi!
First off I want to say that I loved how well you captured these images and scenes in such a concise manner. That's something I usually have a hard time with because it's difficult for me to put aside descriptive words and adjectives. But you did a wonderful job using mostly verbs and nouns.
I wanted to point out one thing I had a slight problem with in your poem, though, which is the first line in each stanza. I feel as though the second and third stanzas are fine, but I'm not sure saying "Sun beats down" for the opening line really works well with the poem. I don't think it works well to say "sun beats down" because the sun is such a concrete object here that it doesn't have the same effect that "responsibility falls" and "that aestive heat has" have and it makes it feel out of place. I would suggest adding "the" in front of "sun" or making the subject in the first line something abstract like "light" or "solar energy" or something like that.
The title is amazing considering the heavy influence on temperature in this poem, but I am not sure I understood anything from this poem. At first, it seems like light is being shed on the conditions of poachers in wildlife reservations, but the last line of the second stanza threw me off from that theory. The last stanza also sounds pretty, it has a nice aesthetic, but it was also empty to me. I didn't feel anything for it. And so I don't know the point of this poem. I don't know the emotions you were trying to get across and it's actually frustrating to me because I feel like those emotions are there, but just out of my reach.
Overall, I think it's a great poem but it could use a bit more concreteness. It could benefit from something substantial the reader can hold onto.
Keep writing and good luck,
Dianne E.C.E.
Knight r4 here for another review, EmeraldEyes. I must say that the first poem of yours that I review must have been one of a kind because the other two that I have read since, have been way better and much easier to understand. You certainly write a lot of poems. Hope this helps.
I really did enjoy reading this! Happy writing!!! 
Like rbt00, I liked how you began the second and third lines the same way as well as ending the second line the same. It made up for not rhyming or making complete sense. (I think almost all poems make little or no sense so that is not a nit-pick).
I think just about the only other thing that I wanted to say is that you are very anti-giraffe. I hope no giraffe loving people come along and read this.
Overall this is a good poem and look forward to reading more. I admit that I was wrong in saying that you shouldn't write poetry. Sorry.
Hmmmm.... Quite interesting I must say. Sort of hard to understand. Nice words used there.
I appreciate the effort you have put in this poem.
I see that every second line you have used the same rhythm to continue. Quite creative for a person like you. Also, the third line of every stanza has the same words 'Before 'You' 'Get' and you have swapped the last words.
Small one but good. I really can't pin point the mistakes in here.
So, I would just like to say keep writing and do not stop.
PS- I am reviewing after months so lost the thing of it.