You know that moment, when you have nothing to say?
... Yes, that one!
Well I'm there at the moment.
Novels are too long. Short stories are too short. Drabbles just sound ridiculous and poetry well - I can batch produce that to no effect other than having said too much.
Yet words are still in there somewhere and there are those who would rather have me write anything than nothing at all.
So I have written: ANYTHING. It's just a word, it doesn't mean anything in this case. It's just there. Like I am. Floating around deciding what my purpose will be and what will define it.
This could be words, then again it might not be. In fact, I may wish to write with the sole purpose of helping other people.
Because you can be kind, funny and intelligent. As well as creative. And somehow, it all colludes to make you incredibly frustrated.
Now I'm venturing into the realm of which people will no longer understand what I'm saying I think it's time to stop.
But what I will say is this: I'm not stopping. I'm not going through a phase. And I am NOT going to write the next Harry Potter, however I applaud the next person who manages to be that successful. Somehow.
What I am talking about is fulfilment in your art; and if you're not getting that, then why are you writing? It would be a shame to waste a talent but there are so many people out there who can write well. It seems stupid to try and do the same. Even to try and write exceptionally well is futile. Because the best writing lies in the opinions of the reader - and they may come to hate your work.
So I sit typing this and think to myself: I don't want to be a washed up poet criticised for my works being too short. When they should be "proper art darling."
I want to be me.
I have no idea who that is. I have no possible way of working that out, but what I do know, is that words help me define who I am at every step of my journey called: living. And that living without words is probably impossible - at least for me.
Writer's block can bog off.
People who want to insult me with negative opinions can bog off.
In short: the rest of the world can bog off because I am going to write anyway. If I want to. And you can't stop me! That may sound incredibly arrogant, but that would be arrogant in itself, to assume that someone is reading this in the first place. You might not be. Or you might have stopped halfway through (before reaching this point.) Or perhaps you never even started!
With any luck you will think this is a stroke of genius
At least now I know what isn't for me, I guess the trickier part lies in working out what is.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hola,
I think you have an interesting piece here. I like particularly that you aren't mucking about with a lot of self pity with your narrator. This speaker is aware of how they feel, how the world might respond to that, and still decides to lay it all out without worrying about any of that. It's pretty gutsy and lovely to see.
I feel that this is somewhat in the format of a speech. It's definitely a fourth-wall breaking piece that ignores a lot of regular conventions. the reader can tell that this is a heart felt and honest work that looks directly toward a kind of self improvement even in the eye of the hypothetical beholder. I think you've done well there. Maybe consider collating some of your sentences into stronger paragraph, or just avoid hitting enter too often. This is a personal preference, but it is still something that I think you might want to consider. Unless your decisions about a work do or change something, don't bother altering your personal perspective to force it.
All in all, you have a good hand at direct writing, don't let it go to waste.
I'm looking forward to reading more from you in the future,
~ Penguin.
With any luck you will think this is a stroke of genius
Needs a period at the end.
Otherwise, this piece made me burn inside. That might sound weird, but hear me out. Do you know when you feel so badly that you agree with someone that it burns? That kind of burn. Also the burn of the frustration you talked about it.
At the beginning, I pictured this merging into a full fledged rant, but I love how it was actually an interesting, beautiful piece of writing. It's perfect. I hope those two words can expressing the burning I feel.
Overall rating: 10/10
+1
Hey EmeraldEyes!
So I'll be reviewing your piece today
I'll go through nitpicks, praise and then what can be worked on.
Let's get started, shall we?
So I don't see why the comma is needed. It's not separating another thought, just adding a break that I think is unnecessary here. So I would take out the comma, but you can keep it if you wish
Hmm, the computer is telling me drabbles isn't a word, so I'm unsure about that. The last part of the sentence was a serious mouth full for me and I had trouble reading it. I would work on rewording that just a little bit
Comma between floating and around
I would work on punctuation here. Unless this was for effect...
"Fulfillment" is spelled wrong, plus I would break this sentence into two. One is a statement, the other a question, so the semicolon seems odd here.
Praise
Great job, teacher!
I would work on punctuation and sentence structure. Just go back and proof read. Over all, well done!
Keep writing
I really appreciate this piece.
I don't commonly see pieces in the Green Room that categorized as other, so that might have been what made me click on it. But it also could have been the title.
The whole feel of the piece was very... I don't know. It's hard to describe. I did love it, though. It reminded me of a book I read called "Life in Outer Space". Everything is layed out simply for people to read and understand, yet it is still very complex and complicated.
I saw a little error towards the beginning.
"Drabbles just sound ridiculous and poetry well," I believe it should be "Drabbles just sound ridiculous, and poetry, well,". That is really the only mistake I saw.
Thank you for a wonderful piece.