Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
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There will come a moment in every good idiot's life where you realise there is no meaning to your being. Well not unless you give you it one. Yes that's right wanktards: Mitchell Akajowango is back and better than ever. I am here to show you how it's done Properly. So prepare yourself for a whirlwind adventure with the One Eyed Wonder.
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Yo gabba yo momma! Here is a quote: [quote]Quitting is the easiest thing to do.[/quote] Obviously it's a load of pretentious old bollocks. What is basically being said is this: Humankind is an evolutionary blip. It doesn't mean anything for the greater good of the universe. Just some bull-shitty excuse for talking mammals to wear clothes and get something they call a "career." This is why I am here to open your eyes to the "real" real world. And to encourage you to start taking yourself less seriously. Because really, no one cares about you "making a difference" until you've actually made it. And chances are, you'll only make some real money from it when you're dead. Such is life. And fuck that shit!
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So my first challenge for you is this: accept that you are a meaningless little human. Repeat this after me:
I have no relevance.
I am one of literally billions.
I am just using up air.
There is no point to my life.
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Got it? Fabulous. You probably won't understand the importance of this just yet. Either that or you will just think I am a complete bastard. Which I am. But you're missing the point. And the point is this: once you admit you're purposeless; then you can start creating a purpose for yourself. And that word is also key: CREATING. Not finding. Creating. You don't find purpose - you make it yourself. Waiting around for the hand of God to point out that you should have been the next Da Vinci is no good.
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Paradoxical as it may seem, given the fact that you are blatantly putting yourself down to build yourself up; this is the meaning behind the compulsion of making a change. And that is the type of OCD you have to make yourself. The notion of the self-made man is not a total pile of elephant dung. Well... moving on. Now we have established you are completely worthless, let's move on to find something you're worth.
See you next time bitches. Stay lucky!
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139,278 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
I can't wait to read the other parts of this. I am already interested in it. I mean if there is going to be another part to it. And if there is, I would like to know where it is.
Hello~ More Mitchell?
I emboldened "realise" because there needs to be some transition after it. Either have it say "when you realised that" or have it say "when you realised:"
Properly doesn't need to be uppercased.
Okay, so I don't think I understand the point of this chapter? You tell me I'm worthless just so that I can find my worth? Is this some sort of reverse psychology stuff, where you make me think I'm worthless just so I will turn around and be determined to prove you wrong? >_>
Either way, I gotta say that this chapter made me feel a bit "WHY AM I READING THIS THIS DOES NOTHING FOR MY SELF-ESTEEM?!" I guess you explain why you said all these things in the next chapter, so I should go read that... if you haven't lost me by then. Insulting the reader makes them slam the book down and burn it, not read on
Perhaps you could throw in a "but wait, there's more!" at the end of chapter (part?) three? Just a suggestion. Anyhoo, moving on.
I did like the part about creating purpose instead of finding it. Although sometimes you do find purpose, dear Mitchell
I'm off to read chapter two~
That was, interesting. Interesting in a good way though. I like it and it's pretty cool. Also, I LOVE your choice of words throughout this chapter. For example, excellent choice of wording by starting (although you didn't really start out at that sentence) out by saying "Yo gabba yo momma!" I also like the sentence "Just some bull-shitty excuse for talking mammals to wear clothes and get something they call a 'career.'" Amazing chapter, and I'm going to go follow you, starting... now! (I'll also be watching for another chapter, so you'd better update soon, or else... *pulls out cake* I may need to bribe you)
Thank you very much.
You seem like a very cool person. How did you know I loved cake?!
*giggles*
Welcome to YWS
Hello EmeraldEyes, I'm here for a review.
I actually have a quite a few things that i have noticed in this piece that I would like to talk about. I have always been open to the opinions of others, including yours. As I read this piece I have realized that you have stated that all humans are worthless. This idea of worthlessness is something I have thought about, but considering I am a follower of Christ, I have found myself priceless in God's eyes. I understand that that is something that you might just pass over, but I wanted to state my belief and opinion.
I think that your potential is great, but I am a little confused as to why you have put this under the subject as humor. Since it is a novel, maybe you have something funny stored for your reader's ahead, but to be honest, I think that this is more depressing than funny. Whether the people who read this believe in God, someone else, or no one, I think that some people could take offense from this text.
While you tell them that they are worthless, and say stay tuned for more, they might just stop there and stop reading, because they have taken this text quite literally. I understand that this is your opinion and you are more than welcome to share your opinion, I just hope you come out with the next chapter soon to explain this a little bit better.
I found some errors in this piece, but I think that you are a good enough writer to figure out those errors by reading through the text again, and asking the question "Does this sound good?" "Can I make this better?" and so on.
Anyway... thank you for you very honest opinion. I look forward to reading more in the future
Have a great day!
Lots of Love, Annaclare
I do like this, although I am offended by the language. Am I seriously a b***h?
No. But according to your profile you are also aged 8.
So you shouldn't have been reading it XD