Hello! Team Aqua has come for a review. Don't be afraid, just cooperate and we'll get along nicely.

First of all, I love the little line of text art that you did down the bottom of your poem. It is certainly not something I see a lot of on here. It's pretty cool actually; you've basically illustrated your poem.

When I started reading your poem, the idea of a zombie apocalypse came to mind. This is probably because of 'the dead will walk the earth'.

Though all the good men fell

they laughed with all their mirth.

To play a game so deadly, so dangerous, such wit

you'd have to be a special one.

And hope you don't get hit

I used to be a part of the Folio Club at my school. The Folio was the literary magazine, and we put it a lot of poetry, short stories, and artwork. As I’m looking at this poem, I can imagine it being a part of the magazine if only I joined this site sooner. I’m always a sucker for an emotional poem, especially when it comes to topics about war. When I read this, I could imagine all the Hell that the soldiers are going through. The zombie part made me think of Dante's Inferno a bit. I don't know why when the book takes place in Hell, but I'm getting off topic a little. Keep on writing. This is fantastic.

Andy here with a review for this wonderful poem!

First off, I'd just like to say that this poem flowed well. I really like the style of ABABCDCD. I've noticed that some people have started frowning on this type of rhyming poem because they consider it childish and a nursery rhyme, but I feel as though poems like this have a strong foundation. (Now, these people aren't on YWS, but they are on other sites.) One of the things I do need to point out is that the beginning of every line should be capitalized.

For example, in your first two lines, you say
"With no more room in Hell

the dead will walk the Earth."

You want to make it
"With no more room in Hell

The dead will walk the Earth."

In a poem, the first word of a line is always capital. However, the first line was certainly catchy. It's a good start to a great poem, and it certainly draws the readers attention to your poem. The next line I'm slightly confused about, but that's probably just me being me. You say that the good men laughed with all their mirth when they fell, and to me (In the way I picture it in my head), I see the good men laughing at the plight of those they are leaving behind on earth. This doesn't really seem like what you intended to say.
I'm going to assume you used "mirth" because it rhymed with "Earth". However, don't forget you can use a noun at the end of that like too. For example, you could replace the line "They laughed with all their mirth" with "Met with the Lord before His Hearth".

The next two lines are really nice, and I don't have anything to crab about there. I like how you had the sun hide their sin instead of the moon or darkness, which is the more common analogy. The next two lines are great as well, but there is still the problem that I mentioned earlier about the capitals.

Again, this might just be me, but I feel like the lines
"We wait again with open arms
the next army will arise"
Really fit in that well. The rest of you poem flows very well, but these feel like a bump in the road. Note that there is nothing wrong with them, it's just my own personal opinion. The final lines are amazing, and put a ringing stop to this poem. I can almost feel the ride jerking to a halt, and the seatbelt unlocking as I shakily stand up and step out of the roller coaster of a poem you created. All in all, Great work!!

(And cool logo at the bottom. XD)