There was a Fry,
who sat in line.
I sat next to the Fry
and confessed many things
but this Fry,
he spoke three words
that I keep with me always.
"You're still beautiful."
Because this Fry,
he's really a Frey.
He goes by Caleb Frey,
and he put power to
three words that
could have meant nothing,
but meant everything.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Can you explain what a fry is? I looked it up and I can still find no answer. That would be great. If you have a real definition, you should put it in the description, so that people understand what this means. If it is meant to go to the name Frey, then that could be humorous. You need to communicate the humor, a little better so that the audience isn't as confused. Also I would recommend to split up your poem into stanzas. This would increase the organization and make people understand your poetry much better. Also I want to learn about Fry/Frey a bit better. Who is he, what does he do, and where is he from?
What I like about this poem is that the person is very passionate about their crush. There is a lot of imagery but there could be more. Also when they say, "You're still beautiful", this kind of kills the romance. Unless I missed something about her having cancer or something like that. If nothing like that happened then he should say You are beautiful and he should say it with confidence. This is a wonderful piece.
At first I thought she was talking to a French-fry but then it turned out to be a person. I thought that pretty funny
This is another one of those "This poem is perfect so I can't review it since it would only be praise"... Sooo, keep writing c,:
HAPPY REVIEW DAY
Wellll Unnatural here to review your work!
So I started reading this because well first, you're my friend (i'm following you), so I mean, I obviously have to read my mate's writing, right?
And I read the title and was just like Whhhaat? A Fry???
Ok. Let's get reviewing.
I think it's kiiinda weird how you guys just were in line and then suddenly you started telling him everything, and suddenly he means so much to you.
It made me wonder WHO IS THIS FRYY
maybe you should just put: "and this fry"
because the fact that you confessed lots of things and he called you beautiful don't really contradict each other.
That's all, hope you continue writing your beautiful stories and poems *cries*
Hey there it's Kat here to write a review for you on this EPIC review day. Go Team! Reviewlution For the win!
Okay so what drew me to this poem is it's a poem about a fry, I mean come on man I gotta read this. And then I find out it's not about a fry but a boy so may I ask why a fry? Because I pictured a fry standing next to you in sunglasses calling you beautiful... *ahem* to the review.
Lovely poem I liked how it started one way and then continued and ended in a totally different way. But what did you confess? Why did someone have to tell you you are still beautiful (I'm sure you are)? It left me whishing there was more to this story. Who is Caleb what is his relation to the writer. I suspect she likes him and values his opinion because of the last two lines and the last two lines of your poem are pure gold. They really stick out and will stick with me. The flow was great and there was no rhyming needed. I still like how it was short sweet and to the point but I'm just really curious. Well I look forward tpo reading more of your work. Keep it up !
~Kat
Awe its cute.
I loved how you turned the fry into frey.
It was absolutely adorable and I also loved that you put that what he said could have ment nothing but ment everything. good job I look forward to reading more of your work.
On another note LETS KICK SOME REVIEW BUTT!!!