Let Me Scream

OK! This is short an Beautiful.
The Length is just perfect and I'm Bee. I was stalking yoour profile so i thought i should review this.
Repetition: Perfect and necessary. It emphasizes your point perfectly and draws on the mystery of the whole thing.
I think you need to work on your stanzas though; in that second Stanza, 'Let me Scream should have broken out (moved down a little) and started a new stanza.
My favourite line would have to the last two: "that i will never be alright". The italics just, I don't know, i was drawn and captured and me being dramatic, i read it out for good measure! Great Writing, keep it up!
Bee!

Hey hey hey hey. It's cheese here for another quick review. I would do longer ones but I don't want Mrs.Varnold to catch me. Anyways, I'll go through likes and suggestions, like I said before in my last review for you.

Likes; I love how it's quaint yet not subtle. It definitely screams emotions. Repetition is in your favor as well. It defiantly suits the poem.

Suggestions; all I ask for is more description. Why do you feel the pain to scream? Elaborate.

Sincerely,
SecreteJournalist
AKA
Brie

Even though this is so simple, the effects are greatly magnified. I love how each sentence is so short for impact and emphasis and the use of repetition - let, which drills the word into your head, always stating the meaning. Its also very relevant to anybody at any age, who is going through a hard time. Which is always good, cause it connects the reader to his/her own point of view. The simplicity adds to the poem. I really like this, it's good!! Da iawn!!

Hey there! Hadj here to review!
Nice poem. Short and to the point. You captured the feeling of modern people, bottling up all of their emotions and never just screaming them out.

Really I have nothing bad to say about this one!

I loved the last 3 lines. Especially with the italicized never. It really stood out to me and captured the entire sense of the poem.

Great work, and keep writing
~Hadj

QuietQuilla desu!

Alright! I love outline for this poem, but the execution was a bit messy.

When you used,

"Don't keep me trapped

in my own crazy head."

Then repeated,

"in my head."

I felt as if you should have reworded it. Your diction is very important here and a bit more depth in the piece could have gone a long way.
Their was good structure and i liked that.
Keep up the good work!

Hey, Retro here for a review.

First of all I think it is a really neat idea you have it. The whole sort of figuring out your own mind sort of thing is a relatable theme for most people, especially most teenagers so if done well it can be quite powerful.

However, I think your poem maybe lacking slightly in some areas. You have nice ideas, and a good basis but I think for it to be truly hard hitting it needs to be taken to the next level. For example where you say 'a black cloud' you could take that image so much further, without over complecating things. I think a key aspect of your work if the simplicity, but i think so minimilist imagery could work well to truly make it pop and stand out.

This all being said, gramatically speaking I think your poem is very good and I can't see any faults.
One thing though, the italics on never. I think there are different way, perhaps more poignant ways, to make that idea pop. I'd perhaps use a conditional clause and I think the message would be more powerful without changing the impact.

Though I think it was a good attempt and with a little bit of work it could become great!

Keep writing,
~Retro

Love it ( just by the way I am trying to get a review for points). Also I love how it is short . Loves. Bye.