A Word of Advice

I love this. The way you use your words with such grace and rhythmic flow...it's incredible. And the truth of it all - whether its teenagers or children or even adults, people always will tower over you. At least one person will. Your ability to accept this fact is critical. I respect you as a writer for this piece. Do not change. Be yourself, be extraordinary. You've inspired me to write as good as you some day. It's SOOOOOO beautiful! Gosh, this piece is spectacular. I could blab and blab and blab for hours about its awesomeness and the entirety of it, but I need to go be extraordinary hehe tehehee.

Just one final point:

I love how you used your words, your sense of word choice is spectacular. Here's a phrase I particularly enjoyed:

"Look for the light that cowers from darkness and grab it with your bare hands
Raise it above your head for everyone to see and never let go of it
Be proud of all the good that you do, but show humility and grace
Let tears rush down your face in a torrent flow and don’t be ashamed"

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Your advice is amazing. I feel like I can see everything clearer and purer now, more than ever before.

Cool beans

I used to be an Average Joe.

Not anymore.

))
P.S. – I wasn’t quite sure and still am not, but when you said “harden heart,” it felt incorrect in grammatical terms. Perhaps it should have been “hardened”? Despite that little bit, it was amazing. Great work!!

i really needed to hear this right kow as im going through a lot of feelings of sadness and anger that i cant deal with and i loved this poem because its so encouraging. thank you so much for this

feeling and emotion is always good. I always write when i'm feeling particularly sad about all the stupid little challenges life throws.

Its truthful, and beautiful and even if feelings of inadequacy pop up in your head, you should remember that you're beautiful on the inside no matter what society sees on the outside.

This world is terrible and peer pressure is the pits but writers like you, who think differently, have enough power to change the world into s better place

Have you ever written a poem then later looked back at it and though "did i really write that?" coz its so beautiful?

Review is on the way.

I thought this was soooooo inspirational!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's really made me think of my choices, to stand out or fit in? It also reminded me of a poem my middle school science teacher showed me, it's called "The Dash". I don't know, maybe you've heard of it, or were even inspired by it.. If you haven't, it's asking the reader how they want to live their dash (the line on your tombstone separating your birth year and the year you passed), who they want to be, how they want to act, how they want to be treated, and how they want others to treat them. If you've heard of it, you can disregard my comment, I won't be offended. There is soo much truth behind this poem!! I truly think your poem has changed me for the better. Please keep writing!!!

Hey Writer!

So I saw you needed some help with feeling/emotion, I'll try to share what I know and then if you want to chat this up later, just let me know!

Right now the poem is more of a motivational pep talk and we get this sense from the title as well, a speaker who shares advice to a reader/listener based on their own experiences.

...But it doesn't really evoke emotion or stir any kind of persuasion in me. This is two folds, I think the poem as you have it right now is made up of the imperative voice without any degree of variation. It all comes across as commands: be this, look for this, do this, etc. etc. etc. This is distancing, as opposed to writing in an intimate voice, where a reader's more likely to feel emotional or invested. So my first suggestion of improvement is through tone. Right now, I like how experimental this feels and I like how it begins and carries out as the speaker speaking directly to the reader, immediately, that establishes a relationship between the speaker/reader- but the tone still needs a little work. This has a lot of strength and power behind the words, there's a sense of conviction, but it's not evocative enough. People feel emotions about evocative, sensational things, so without proper emotional context, we cannot really sympathize. In other words, there's telling and there's showing. You can make a statement about the world- that's all telling though. What about if you paint a picture, if you describe a scene? All of a sudden, the reader can be transported into that scene and start to feel whatever evocative details you choose to illuminate. If I said to you: the world sucks, everything dies, that's not emotional. If I said to you:

stray kitten paws, too faint to wobble, keels over
like a stuffed doll

----

Something inspired you to write this poem, right? Some kind of event, some kind of story or scene or reflection. You can use that, or transform it, or re-create it. Emotion is very easy: intimacy in tone, creating a scene, sensory images (touch, taste, smell, sound, sight) and be evocative, use the kind of words that do most of the creating for you

Transform this:

Because someone is going to criticize you no matter what you do
And someone is going to spread rumors with a greedy mouth

Wow... I really love this, how inspiring your words are. You got a great poem right there! I like all the aspects of this poem, with the different stanzas and your choice of vocabulary. I didn't see many mistakes at all, and they might not even be errors:
-in the last line of the first stanza, I think "to wipe your mark off of it" could be "off it" but I mean that's your decision! It's perfectly fine without the change!
-in the third stanza, "with a coward. A fraidy cat. An average Joe." could be changed to "with a coward, a fraidy cat, or an average Joe." It's fine not changed though. A mistake was the apostrophe, though.
Great job you did here! Thanks for writing, and have a great day!
Love,
Perks

Hey, Writer?

It's a beautiful poem. <3

Better fix that title, though.