Imaginary Friend

Hi there! Noelle here to review as requested. Sorry it took me a while to get here.

Oh wow, you've got lots of god reviews now! Hopefully I can give you some feedback that you haven't received yet.

I'll start with a general flyby of your poem (basically where I say what I think the poem is about so you can see if the right message comes across): this poem is about someone's imaginary friend.

Just from reading this over once, I can tell this is a very simplistic poem. And that's fine! Simplistic isn't bad. It just means there really isn't any deeper meaning than the one immediately noticeable to the eye. Poetry doesn't always have to be deep and have all these metaphors and imagery. It usually does, but it doesn't have to. It's always refreshing to see poems like this that are just straight forward.

Most of my review will be focused on nitpicks and flow because I think you can improve a bit in both those aspects with this poem.

A friend meant for me,
and not anybody other.
He's a true friend,
like a brother.

No one sees him,
but he's there.
But to other people,
he is just air.

You say you see him,
but that's not true.
Nobody can see him,
so neither can you.

No one sees him,
but he's there.
But to other people,
he is just air.

He loves to play,
and so do I.
Still hidden to others,
I don't know why.

hello there! Inked here after her long journey from who knows where, here to review.
So I see that you wrote of an imaginary friend. I thought it was nice and fit the concept of a child having an imaginary friend. I myself can relate, but I think the poem could do with some more substance.
In short I believe you can have a very well adapted poem if you had more verses to give more volume and color. I like to think as story telling and poetry as the same thing, the only difference is that poetry is smoother and more depthful and can be focused on a single object yet it takes you places you never even existed in that tiny space of time.
The rhyming was really nice, there are very few people who can actually pull off rhyming and you did a great job.
I really enjoyed your poem and one more thing that might help if you did wish to rewrite or revise this poem, look at authors like Frost and see what he does with nature, he is a good inspiration for poetry and you might find some use in his techniques.
Well I'm done here.
~Inked

Great job in your writing. I can relate to this soo much =) <3

I really liked this. I'm new here. Haha, this was my first read on the site.
I could relate to it. I think that's the best thing writings do for us as individuals.

this was rather cute a poem Sunset101.
its an art to see what is unseen by most, that is what makes you different from the crowd.
the poem is well rhymed and short verses fit it well.
i would like to suggest you some points to make this work ever better
first "A friend meant for me,

and not anybody other."- may be you could write this as "He is my that friend
whom i can look apart from other".
and may be you can also add a few more defining characters to this friend, to personalize him i mean .
i like your imagination, and keep dreaming, and remember to work hard to achieve that dream.
enjoy YWSing
Rituparna

Dear Sunset101,

EccentricRose is here for a review! I'm sorry if I repeat anything, I haven't looked at the other reviews because I'd like to give you my honest opinion.

I love this poem! I liked the simplicity of it yet it held a lot of importance. I used to have imaginary friends all of the time. You portrayed an imaginary friend very well and I'm sure many other people will agree!

No one sees him,

but he's there.

But to other people,

he is just air.

Hi!
I love poetry and this, though not my cup of tea (I think most things are not my cups of tea) was well-written. I also like the idea.

The only thing I find wrong with this poem is (not the rhymes, the rhymes are good) but the rhythm. To make a poem sound smooth, each verse needs to have the same amount of beats, or syllables, whatever you like to call them. Now some poems are different. They might have, say, 5 beats for the first and third line, and 7 beats for the second and fourth line. It really depends on the poem you are writing. So, some of the verses had 3 beats, while others had 6 lines. Really try to fix that; it is very important. Sometimes you have to shorten and lengthen the verses, depending on how many beats you want to have in each verse. I had that problem before, so don't worry. I, too, had gone through this.
Really, other than that, good job.
Good luck and keep writing!
fantasydragon01.

Nice job!

In the first two lines, "nobody other" sounds a little weird to me. I don't know how to fix that, since you need that rhyme.

The last two lines of the second to last stanza are also a little confusing. It is sort of like a run on sentence (if you read it without the poem format), and they don't seem to exactly fit with the lines before them in the stanza.

I liked this poem, though. It has a very warm and secretive feeling to it. Keep up the good work!

Touching poem! I like your rhymes. I know how lots of times when people feel lonely, they make imaginary friends to talk to, but only you can see them. Nice poem and I hope you write some more!

Hi, Sunset!

I like your username! At first I was bothered by the "nobody other ", because I don't think it's grammatically correct. But then I got the tune of it, and I realized how you managed to make your piece flow wonderfully. I also realized, the child-like atmosphere you've created in this piece and how that same line I didn't like contributes to that. For this reason, I couldn't help but like it. Great job!

However, there is one thing I think could be improved. And that is your title. The title is important, for it is also part of your piece. I would suggest you to find a way to make it more intriguing. Mostly because, just as people judge by the cover, they also judge by the title, and your title doesn't make the readers curious enough... Your piece is better than your title, by far. At least, that's what I think. So yeah! Think about it I think you're a great poet, so keep writing!

-GeeLyria

This is a super cool poem! I love the idea and overall structure. It's not often nowadays you find poems that rhyme, and I think that that added a lot of zest to your poem. So before I start to really review this piece I just wat to tell you that I suck at handing out criticism and I like to stay postivevas much as I can... So I'm not gonna give you criticism and all of that stuff, Ill leave that up to other , for me I want to do us on what you did right... Not wrong. Okay how about I shut up about me and start talking about your piece.

Like I said in my opening sentence of this review the idea of this poem is super nice and refreshing. There are soapy poems about depressing topics, and while they are all great, I feel like this is a refreshing poem that shows something cheerful and happy. Imaginary friends is something that is exactly that. So, your idea was spot on.

Your poem is also very relatable. Most everyone who will read this has had an imaginary friend whether they admit or not. I had an imaginary friend, and by the sound of it so did you. This poem really can throw people back in time and make them think about their past and the imaginary friends they have. So I think that this poem allows people to look back at a happy time give this piece a positive message.

Your structure was very good. I am very picky about structure/format. I think that a poem should look as good as the message. I think that you have done that by keeping t constant in rhyme, rhythm, and lines per section. You made it look appealing which made it spud more appealing. Sorry if that makes no sense but just go with it .

Overall, your poem was a refreshing outlook on something a lot of people have in common. You need to keep writing! You have a gift and that surely shows through your pieces! Keep up the amazing work!

Keep writing bro.

~#41

Hey, Sammy here. First of all, I gotta say that this poem was probably the best I've read so far in uh, my two days here in this website. And I can relate to what this poem is saying because I have many, MANY imaginary friends all swarming inside my mind, all with different personalities that I created, and I hate it when people give me weird looks like I'm insane when I suddenly smile out of nowhere. (Don't blame me! They get into arguments all the time and I can't help but laugh at their antics.)

There's really nothing to say to this poem- I never reviewed a single poem in my life, expect that you can capsulize all the first words in a new line even if it's part of a sentence already. I mean, I do that all the time, but it's probably how you look at the poem in your style so it's perfectly alright.

Anyways, this poem was great to read (two times) and I hope you continue to make writings like this in the future.

Okay, let me tell you, I really liked reading this poem. It's better honestly to have imaginary friends than real ones. This is because our so called friends ditch us when time comes and many of them take us for granted. I never had any imaginary friends but I have a habit of talking to myself. There is an imaginary person inside me, you see. Anyway, coming back to the poem, the poem was good but the last stanza kinda confuses me. Don't have the courage to do what? It's a bit confusing. If you read it properly, you will understand the mistake. Anyway it's a really good poem, except the last stanza which needs a bit working in my opinion.