Today is the day
for us to say
Happy Father's Day!
-
Once a year,
it comes by here,
of Father's Day cheer.
-
We just wanted to say
Happy Father's Day
in a cheerful way!
-
We all love you,
you help us through,
you also play with us, too!
-
So if we cry,
you'll help us by,
and that is why...
-
You deserve a call,
from us all,
say Happy Father's Day!
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139,005 Literary Works • 672,397 Reviews
Hey there! CaptainSalty here with a review.
Okay, I do like this poem. Yet, I did see something that didn't flow well...
The last line. Instead of using that, I would put Father's Day cheer instead.
Also, I did realize that you didn't use many detail. I know it's meant for not a lot of detail, I would maybe add some. It just is like, boom boom boom, going through the poem. Some detail would lengthen it and make it a little better.
Otherwise, this isn't bad at all. I did really enjoy it and it's very appreciative. I do want to see more of your poems. Don't give up and always write!
-CaptainSalty
Thank you, CaptainSalty, for the review. Adding more detail to my poem has definitely been mentioned before. This isn't one of my best poems, so I may not add more. Who knows.
Hi, Sunset101!
A fellow 101 here to give you a review!
The rhythm of the poem was very well written and it's rather nice that you have saluted Fathers everywhere with this piece. The way you have made the poem flow was also very good.
I can't find any mistakes so very well done!
LordofLit101
Hi Sunset! ^^
While thinking about this, think of those readers who don't care about this holiday and make them care, even if they don't have a father, xD Write it in a way that you convince them that this is true, that fathers are great. Write something fathers can relate to, as well. I believe that would really help you out. Remember that poetry is not only an art, but the way certain people can have a voice and touch hearts. 
I'm GeeLyria and I'll be reviewing for you today. So, I have read your poetry before, and I concluded then and will conclude again that you have the skills to make a poem flow; they sound very lyrical and that is lovely! I also love how organized your poetry is; yout grammar is impecable and it generally gives the reader a good impression, aesthetically speaking. So kudos on that~
However, I think your poetry could be greatly improved, which is why I will use this piece as an example to show you some things and give you some suggestions. In this poem, you are telling your readers how you feel about the fathers of the world, which is a lovely thing to do. But I think this poem would be so much better if you could show why fathers need an international day to be celebrated. What makes a father so special and why do they deserve it? Shoooow us! Develop further ; go deeper than "you help us through"? Show how? Give examples!
-GeeLyria
Wow.
Thanks for that review. That was really helpful, if I get around changing and improving on this poem I will fix that. Thanks again 
Ohyay! I'm glad I could help, Sunny ^_^
Hello!!! Bam here to do an awesome sauce of a review!Grrr...Now lets get down to business an stop hiding under blankets...hmm That is only me O.O
Anyways... I like this! haha.. Its short,simple, an cute in its own way. I can only see a few mistakes! (I might even be wrong on the mistakes haha)
First is I am not sure if you did it like this or not, but first letter of each new line should be capitalized. That is kinda up to you I guess.
"Today is the day" I think you need an comma after that.
"of Happy Father's Day cheer." I would take out of or replace it with A.
Besides that, their is nothing more for me to add! Grr
Thank you, Bambi! Your review was helpful.
Actually, the first letter in each line doesn't have to be capitalized - whatever the writer chooses. But thanks anyhow. 
I wasn't for sure haha.. Not the best at that.. An your welcome