I thought she was my friend, but instead she is a bully.

Hi there! Again, haha. Happy Review Day!^^

Okay, so, I haven't read the reviews below me so I'm sorry if I accidentally repeat something. >.<

There are quite a few poems like this, you know, the whole "backstabbing friend" thing. And since there are so many, you should try to make yours feel more outstanding and unique. I did love the meaning and it felt heartwrenching, but it could definitely use a little push. One thing that is key in these is emotion. Hardly any raw emotion is portrayed from this poem, and if I were this character, I would be blowing off steam. So I think if this was edited a little and showed more of the character's emotions, that would really boost it up.

I liked the whole repetition thing, though. How you mentioned the two different days and "bus" and "lunch" thing, you know? It was a nice use of repetition.

One last thing I'd like to say is maybe write about how these two "friends" met or maybe some good memory that classified them as good friends. This could be put in the second stanza or maybe even made as the first. Anyways, that's just a suggestion.

Keep writing!!

~ EternalRain

Hi @Sunset101! This is my first review and I chose you because I really enjoyed your work. As I said, it's my first review so it won't be that long or helpful I guess, but let me try.
First of all, I like how your poem is so simple yet so powerful. The subject is a painful one, something I deeply understand as it happened to me as well. Still nowadays, I don't know what's worse, a friend turning into a bully or a friend who suddenly leaves you behind. As for the writing I saw other reviews and they already told you how to improve. Regarding the subject, I would like to add the impression your words left in my heart, it seems that in your poem a question is hidden, you're wondering what a friend is. Maybe I got you wrong but I can feel your pain. Keep writing, you're great!

Hello! ChocolateCello here!

There's nothing wrong I could find with this poem but I would like to point out your tenses.

"I thought she was my friend.

But instead,

she is a bully."

You use was in the first line here (past tense) and is in the final line (present tense). Now, you could argue that this is acceptable, saying that she still proves to be a bully, but I would suggest that you change the "is" to a "was".

Again here,
"The next day,

I was scared of her.

I think she is a bully."

In the final line the "is" should be a "was" and the "think" should be a "thought".

Other than that though, the poem was great. I had a friend who I grew up with, practically as a sister, who I have since drifted apart with after some fights a few years back and I can say that I definitely relate to this. I really enjoyed this work! Keep writing!

-ChocolateCello

Hey there Kat here to write a review for you !

Excuse typos I'm using an iPhone .

So I just had to read this because I had an amazing friend and I don't know what happend but she just isn't nice anymore and thinks she is , she thinks the way she treats her friends is fine and is only nice to her closest friends . Without elaborating and getting all emotional here , it hurts . Relatable poems are always good ways to speak to readers .

You're ... Eleven ? AWESOME. You should see what I was writing when I was ten XD really it's not to great and it's posted on this site somewhere . Age aside , this was just a great piece of writing . Very simple and to the point and the way you divided your sentences helped add to the sadness this person felt . When I started writing , I learned very quickly that each writer is an artist and the words are their medium . The art is how the author manipulates their words to show something and envoke a certain feeling . It's important to not only tell , but show your readers the feelings you put into your writing . Get creative ! Use lots of colorful words and literary devices to crew different effects . So what if sometimes it comes out really ... Not great ? It's all part of the fun of writing :3

One last tip , for poems like this syllable count , flow , phrasing , and word choice are really important . You want to make your reader feel empty and sad here ( I think ) so pure going for even but blunt choppiness without to many crazy words . Just keep that in mind . Repetition always helps drive any point home , wether it's negative or positive . If you wanted more of an emotional pull , make the readers feel more sorrow by elongating it or showing how great of friends they were at first . All just suggestions since you said you weren't used to this kind of writing .

Great job !
~Kat