Dear Rapunzel,
the girl who got kidnapped by
an evil sorceress.
Dear Rapunzel,
who lived in a tower
for ages.
Dear Rapunzel,
the girl who fell in love
with a thief.
Dear Rapunzel,
a girl with magic
hair.
Dear Rapunzel,
the girl who hit her true love
with a frying pan.
Dear Rapunzel,
the girl who found
her parents again.
Dear Rapunzel,
who lived happily
ever after.
Dear Princess Rapunzel,
I dare wonder what you're
up to now.
Has your story ended yet,
or is there still more to know,
Dear Rapunzel?
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Ooh! I love Rapunzel! I especially love this poem! It's unique and different.
Hi! Happy Review Day!
I really enjoyed this, because Rapunzel is cool and so is Disney and woop.
I really liked the ending - it was smooth, and nothing was rushed up to it. It left me thinking about what could happen next and that was a great feeling.
Agreed with the reviewers below me... it did need an extra push, something more and something else with a stronger meaning, you know? I did like how you incorporated some of the main and memorable events from Tangled, but what of your own? Maybe you could include some message along with this (or perhaps hint at what the message in Tangled was?). But yes, maybe something with more of a message.
Nevertheless, I did very much enjoy it! It was a fun piece, and who doesn't like Rapunzel? You should write more of these of the other princesses, but perhaps with a different twist of your own creativity.
Keep writing! Can't wait to read more of your poems!
~ EternalRain
Hello!
Okay, I'm going to tell you straight-up that I don't think the massive repetition works in this. It gets monotonous, and it gets its own line every time it made me want to skip to the end to see what happens when you're not repeating it again and again. But lo and behold, the end has the same repetition, all the way to the last line. My advice: Get rid of like, all of the "Dear Rapunzel"s. You can keep the first one, and the last one, and maybe one other one, but as it is now, it is extremely excessive and Not Good to read.
Something else. I like Tangled and all, but this poem lacked depth. Your whole poem is basically "What is she doing now?" So you could pretty much just rewrite this poem as "Dear Disney, please make a sequel to Tangled. kthxbai." I personally feel like that's not really enough to write a poem about. You introduced the reader to nothing new, unless they haven't seen tangled. Then they'd just be confused, wondering about "hey, the Rapunzel story I know had no such thing as magic hair or frying pans. What is this poem going on about?"
Honestly, I really don't like poems that just praise consumer goods or franchises or "fandoms" if you will unless they have something clever to say about it, or some new perspective, and even then, I'm not really a fan. I just don't like fan fiction that much, but this isn't even really that, because this doesn't provide anything new. I like that fan fiction is still creating a new thing out of something already used.
I was going to go on with that, but then I realized I was rambling.
It's okay to express your liking of things, but I feel like it doesn't really belong as a literary work. Write something more unique, with more purpose! Leave fangirlling over things for conversations with your friends. It's more fun that way anyway ^^
Now if you disagree or are offended by anything I just said, I am truly sorry, feel free to ignore it, I'm just trying to help.
I hope this helps you somewhat. Let me know if you need any help with your future poetry exploits.
Keep writing!!
~fortis
I am a HUGE Tangled fan so this made me happy. And now I'd love to watch the movie. Which is not a bad thing because, Disney.
I agree with what Racket said about this having a message. The poem doesn't appear to, which is just fine, but not having a message means it reads very generic and there's not much there to review. Are you just trying to retell the story? I did notice that you highlighted some of the progressively better parts of her life along with the worst, did you choose certain moments on purpose?
"the girl who got kidnapped by" seemed a bit disjointed, I think because it has a lot more syllables than similar lines in the poem. Of course it is an important moment in Rapunzel's life, and I'm sure you picked it for a reason, but I would maybe try to shorten this line.
I liked the way you ended it. I'm always a fan of italics, haha, but it was nice to have a cutesie ending, and I noticed you changed from "Dear Rapunzel" to "Princess Rapunzel." I'm not sure the significance of this 100%, but I thought it was clever anyhow.
This was cute, good job! I would encourage you to explore poetry with a deeper meaning. Love to read more from you!
-Cairo
Thank you sooo much! All of what you said is greatly appreciated. ^_^ I don't know if it's any better now, but I edited a bit (not so much though).
... Nice work.
Thaaank you.
No problem.
Hello, Sunset, racket here to review your poem!
Well, I've seen this movie multiple times, so I get the whole thing. XD Good job! I'm wondering as to if this poem has a message of some kind? Most poetry does, but this seems to just be a series of thoughts addressed to the Rapunzel from Tangled, right?
I've got a few suggestions and thoughts and things, so bear with me. The first thing I would like to look into is the line
I would like to argue this point, as I don't remember her ever having fallen in love at first sight. She fell in love with him gradually, as they went on their adventure to see the lanterns, right? I believe her first impression of him was absolute terror and indecisiveness. XD But really, she was scared of him! I think, though these lines go well with the poem, it is not actually accurate... I dunno, just my opinion there.
I would like to suggest putting your poem into more than just one tiny ending stanza and one humongous body stanza? You've got a nice three-line pattern going on that would be easy to convert into stanzas, and stanzas do make poetry a bit easier to read, not to mention the wonderful mood additions.
I do think your last stanza is, though true, just a tiny bit cheesy...
I think 'evil witch' is a bit generic... maybe try 'the girl who was kidnapped by/a mad woman of sorcery.' Not necessarily that example, just something a bit more elegant and not as... normal? More poetry-like, I guess. Flowy. Interesting. I think you get the picture. Same deal with
That 'almost' is bothering me...
Well, that's all I've got in the way of suggestions! I really appreciate this poem, as this is a great movie and story, so, yeah, good job! I can't wait to read more of your stuff in the future!
~racket
Thank you for the review! Your suggestions are deeply considered and I may change a few things to your (and my) liking.
Cool! But my points are just suggestions, you only need to change what you think would be better in the poem. It's not mine. But I'm glad the review was helpful!
No problem!