Young Writers Society

Hello there!

I am ILoveBooks from SassyLadyBugs!

Happy Review Day by the way!

Shall we get on with the review? Okay then...

Ah. Another angst poem. I love this kind of feelings and poem. Why most of us keep writing some kind of poem like this. Probably because life is not a Walk in a Park. And people just want to express our own feelings. Maybe you did the same here.

I have to be honest with you, I like these kind of things. I like how most of us always express our feelings through poems and stories and music. It's like this is just how life can be. And because of that I like your poem!

You made a great start with this. And you make a great ending too. Your opening already explain what's the poem about which is a person battling life and suicidal which was cutting their wrist. And i think you dedicate it to a friend of yours? I have to say my friends to cut themselves to be honest.

I like how you put so much feelings here. The flow of the rhythm of the pen. Good too!you describe everything sl well. And you already put this poem into someone life! I rarely find this kind of poems! And I'm so glad you did this! It might be emotional and painful. But you wake enough people from reality!

The closing or if you like to call it the last stanza was also great. I like the sentence where you say:

There is still an ugly story

behind each and every scar.

While they may own my past,

I know that I own my future.

They show at least some positive thought here even though they are experiencing some bad situation already. They already finding hope here! And i can't believe you wrote this as a wonderful ending.

That's all I wanna! Sorry if its all a mess or something. I just dont know how to express what I wanna write here because it so plainly good. And tell your friend that they are so brave to fight and deal with their problem. You are a great poetic writer. Great Job once again!

-ILoveBooks123

Ah hello there!

I like how this starts out ( "I hate my scars..".)
You used similes to make this poem come to life.
You're actually being real about this and I really like it.
And I like how you put emotion into this. Nice!
And I like how you said that there was a flow of blood. Most authors/ poets out that the character bled and that's it. Bleh. But you described it how it went from stinging to numb and becoming free!
Then you dropped reality on this! Nice! Like I got scared that cutting might get romanticized and that's a big no-no but you brought us back to Earth that it is painful.And that there is emotional consequences.
I LOVE THE LAST LINE . "I know that I own my future". Its really positive. You say the top of that stanza with like no hope then you end it with hope and I LOVE that.

Overall good job and tell your friend they are very brave for dealing with this. (My sister also cut she does still sometimes but not as often). But yeah good job I loved it

I really loved this poem! Beautifully written and very emotional. I heard this one saying about scars that goes something like this, "Scars aren't just reminders of all the hurt that crossed our path, but proof of the strength we possessed to live through it."

It is a really touching poem, a bit depressing. But the last line made up for it
Good luck

Hi there!

This is such an emotional and troublesome poem if I may say because the way you're descriptive here about whole scenario is very aptly put and Its like I can almost feel why you did this and what's in your mind and I think Its a great quality in your writing. Well, I really like the poem and if we'll ignore the minor mistakes which have been done so my favorite stanza would be definitely last one because I can see a start of new beginning for you and I'm happy that after the years of realization you've finally understood that it's vain cause to take your depression out by slitting your wrist every time. In the end this poetry is blended with mixed emotions like regret, hurt, depression, remorse so definitely I would like to see more poems from you based on reality, keep writing. Thank you!

this poem is a bit tedious but a very emotional one. the last tpo lines are very posetive. i lov the way u tell that those scars owe ur past and u owe ur future. . the nunbness affected you when u were injured.

Wow! It's a really emotional poem.

If I am not wrong, every time you felt depressed, you would resort to slitting your wrists and then regret it. I think you have become more mature over the years to understand what's right and what's wrong, so I won't lecture you over that. I'll strictly critique your poem.

Okay, the first stanza was good, but the last line, "a notion off pure depression and numbness." The word "of" is supposed to be instead of, "off." Because if it is "off" then it implies that you are getting out of depression which is not what you clearly mean to say.

In the second stanza, second last and last lines, words, "and", "that" should be in capitals.

The third stanza was really good. It's really from your heart and is reflected in it and then again, the word 'W' in 'would' should be in capital.
And so you have put capital in some stanzas and not in some. Be consistent. I know it's difficult when you try to write a poem from your heart and want the people to be empathetic to you.

And last but not the least, try to write more and more poems. I would love to read all of them as I love emotionally driven poems and also you would feel free from all kind of negative energies.