Summer nights
Were the nights to remember forever.
When the glimmering stars came out,
Our dreams would come to life.
*
Young, crazy, and reckless,
we would make our way to the beach
to watch the stars glow
in their own spectacular way.
*
You would look at me,
and then at the billowing waves.
Your eyes were filled with speculation,
telling me you wanted to go in.
*
You would pull me to my feet,
and then drag me to the edge of the sand.
We would sprint into those crashing whitecaps.
Once we emerged from the brisk water
we would laugh with bliss and excitement.
*
Your green T-shirt was all wet,
but you didn't care.
We were making memories
On those satisfying summer nights.
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140,098 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Hey Bball41! CaptainSalty here with a review!
I am going to make this review count, because when I finish it, I get my 4th review star!
So, I really like this. It's very lively and tells from the perspective of young and reckless teenagers, which I do enjoy! The only part that concerns me is the 4th stanza. There is 5 lines in that stanza, while all of the other stanzas have 4 lines. I don't know how, but I am sure you can figure out a way to slim it down one line!
The very last two lines made me feel very happy and it seemed romantic. I do love that factor in poems.
Well, I would have to say this is one of my favorite poems I have read and reviewed on YWS. Great job! I want to read more of your poetry. Don't give up and always write, Bball41!
heya...Urba here for a review...
This poem was overall goood and no I should say very good.
At first It's your imagination skill which is awesome and faunafaun is right you surely are in love with someone(at least something)...how do we know? Your poem told us so...
But I'll say that this poem is a bit short according to your flowing of words and lines...add some more imagination and I can give you a tip that while writing keep your fingers fluent and rapid...this helps to imagine faster...
Again I am seeing some color problem actually...somehow I feel that green is not the perfect color for the T-shirt. How about Blue or White? These colors would look amazing in the way the poem is...
I'll actually quote some lines:
I loved these lines here...
Keep writing and keep using your imagination talent!!
Take care
~Urba
Heya!
Augustus here for the review.
Well, I really liked your poem. There is lot of imaginary, but there is still room for some more.
And one thing that I want mention is that, I have read this poem out loud. And it feels a bit jagged to me. And also, I noticed that the all stanzas had 4 lines except the fourth one. But, of course it's your poem.
But, over all imaginary of the poem was nice and it shows that you and your writings have lot of potential. Also, like pinkdinosaurs I really loved this line:
So, overall it was a good poem and I would like to read more of your works in future.
Goodbye and Goodluck.
Oh yes. You're in love, that's all I can say. This is a love story. There' a lot about your work, and I absolutely adore it. I cannot find anything. Any mistakes, and I'm sorry about that. I'm being a terrible critical eye, but I cannot. I was swept away, and this work was crafted by angels. The emotions I felt were real. God, they were real, and I was possessed. I had to read more. And yes, I'm talking about your work. So precious and wonderful. Such a beautiful thing.
Summer nights. This is seriously amazing and heart touching! This relates so much to my life, living in a country full of beaches and all. For a short poem it has a big effect.
It is amazing!!!
I think it would be better and more fun to read if you add a bit more. I do like that you didn't stray from the topic and start talking about other random things.
'Young, crazy, and reckless' it's a bigger affect that it's in threes which is good too.
But yeah that's all
I love this! I think everyone can relate to the great feeling of summer. I like that you used a lot of descriptive adjectives and imagery. It really worked well in this piece.
My only suggestion is to maybe elaborate more/ add more on. It's a short poem, you could ad a little more detail and make it even stronger!
Overall, I really liked it and I think you have a strong foundation as a writer. Keep going!!