I remember what it felt like to hold you
To embrace you in my strong arms
You would nuzzle in close to me
And tell me to never let go
*
I remember what it felt like to love you
To show how much I cared for you
Your eyes would shimmer with bliss
That told me to never let you go
*
I remember what it felt like to see you
To notice that you weren't okay
You then slowly took my hand
And told me to hold on forever
*
I remember what it felt like to hold you
My embrace strong and firm
As you breathed your last breath
I realized I had to let go
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,010 Reviews
Hi Bball41!
First things first, I like your poem. A poem about letting go is pretty good for the topic. I once try to write a poem about that but turns out it didn't look nice. But yours is so wonderful! All in all good job!
I thought at first it we ould be a happy poem but when I read the end I know it would be sad. And it's almost make me wanna cry
Your ending shows the great and powerful of the poem and I like it actually.
When I first read it, I was really curious and it got the best of me and I continue to read everything until the end.
I dont know what else to say except well done and continue on writing beautiful poems!
Also I forgot that your format is good.
That's all!
~ILoveBooks123
Hello Bball41,
EccentricRose is here for a review! I'm not very good at finding mistakes in poems, but I will tell you my thoughts on the meaning and smoothness of "Embrace."
First off, I like the title. It is simple but holds a lot of meaning in the one word.
Second, I think it rhymes smoothly. All of the stanzas match up to the same amount of lines and the same length. Though it isn't always necessary to have unity, it sometimes makes it sound nicer.
It is a beautiful poem about letting go.
I like the last line; it tied the whole thing together to give it that last wave of meaning; letting the poem finish at the right time.
I loved this poem, you are very good at writing. I can't wait to see more!
~Rose
Hi Bball41! This poem was good and the ending was heart-rending. I wasn't expecting the person to die, but it was a good and powerful touch to the end of your poem. Even though it was sad, it was my favorite part. Here are a few little nitpicks I had while reading your lovely piece:
These two lines flowed a little weirdly. I would suggest changing the second line to say, "Telling me to never let go"
I know that as the author you can choose not to use punctuation, but in this particular piece, I think it would help for you to add some in. That's just my personal opinion though.
The only other thing I would suggest changing about your poem is that I think you should go through with a thesaurus and pick stronger words to use in the place of some that are repetitive or weak. In one instance that I would do this for sure is the line that says,
Happy just isn't a very strong word. Maybe you could say "happiness and contentment" or just replace the word happiness with one of its synonyms. It's up to you. Or you can just leave it how you have it, which is fine. Please don't take any of this criticism harshly.
In conclusion, great job on this piece! It was really sweet, until of course the very end which made me want to cry. It kind of reminded me of the music video to the song "Say Something" for some reason. Anyways, keep writing! I can't wait to read more from you!
Wow. I really really liked this poem. You don't often find positive poems in my opinion these days, especially poems written concerning topics of love and other such things so I'm super happy I was able to come across yours.
I don't think I have any criticisms for you and what you've written, but if I had to say something I would ask you to make it longer so that I had more to read.
Otherwise, I found your whole poem very sweet and easy to relate to. It's sensitivity and carefulness is evident. I almost get the feeling that you're being protective of this girl, adding a sort of frailness to her character and making her seem fragile which helps to impact further when you talk about holding her protectively in your embrace.
Or maybe I'm just reading into it too much....another mystery for the universe I guess.
Thanks for a great piece of writing to read, I wish you luck in any further endeavors you partake in.