Aphrodite isn't the best goddess to have
As a parent.
The expectations are staggering.
I learned how to live with them
Until I didn't live anymore.
(The secret is to fight them the best you can
In what you do.)
I've learned many things from being a child of Aphrodite:
1) Bravery isn't just meant for Ares kids or Zeus's children.
There's also a special type of bravery in heartbreak.
2) It's a much better job to make a heart whole
Than to snap it in two.
3) Breaking a heart
Is much easier than putting one back together.
I should know.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
I really like this poem! Just like in the other pjo based poems, you managed to capture the essence of the character and her story line. Personally I don't think it needs more than you've already done, though perhaps there might be a few lines that could be worded to be more powerful and flow better.
The first is:
I think the flow could be improved if it was changed to "Bravery isn't just meant for the children of Ares or Zeus"
And then there's the follow up line:
This could be shortened to: "There's a special type of bravery in heartbreak"
Other than that I absolutely love the poem and as mentioned by a previous reviewer, I love the listing. These are just a few word changes that I feel could improve the flow, but the poem is still really good the way it is. The first line in particular is a less important change and there is a cadence in the way it already is worded, so feel free to leave it the same if you'd prefer. The second line is simply omitting a word, but I feel like it could really make the line more powerful.
Anyway, keep up the good work with all of these pjo character poems! I love reading them and I love how you really capture the soul of the characters in your work.
No, this is a nice length! Not too long at all. Just one nitpick, but overall I love it. I especially love the list in the second half, it's a clever, unusual touch. I've learned many things from being a demigod child of Aphrodite: I don't think you need to say 'demigod', it flows better without it. The poem is so meaningful, and the last line is a little heartbreaking. Love it!
this is very nice great job but maybe add a little bit more