Jewel Digger

I definitely agree with breaks in the rhythm, the second stanza seemed so large, try to break it into two. This was an interesting topic, though. Read it out loud and see where the breaks would fit best. That's pretty much my only advice, keep up the great work!

Hi! I'm Sparkle.

I agree with pretty much all of what guineapiggirl said about the line breaks and rhythm flow. this poem is really interestiing, and it makes a person think. I was a bit confused about why you titled it The Jewel Digger when it is about someonw who buried jewels, but maybe there is some underlying meaning you are trying to get at that I didn't catch. I like the way you started the poem. It made me curious. I hope this helped a little!

This is a really interesting little story you're telling here. I like it.
I'm guineapiggirl and I'm going to review your poem.
I think this is a pretty good narrative poem here. You tell the story well.
My main problem with the poem is the line breaks. You have too many in places where they don't fit the rhythm and they disrupt the flow. Places I think you should cut line breaks:

"by some thief, whose redemption
had made him abandon
his loot."

I really like the little bit about the thief. But I think that you should cut the line break between abandon and his loot.

In the darker part
of the dusk
when the moon fights the clouds,

Also here, cut the line break between darker part and of the dusk.

I think that the first half of the poem, up until 'when the moon fights the clouds', is really good. After that it gets a little bit slack though. It just doesn't flow quite so well, I think.

The ending is good. It is interesting. It makes the reader think about stuff. Like why he did that, ad whether it was the right thing to do etc.

I hope I've helped a little! nIce poem