How About A Broken Song (We Can Sing Together)

by Arcticus
  • December 6, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical
  • Pre-2014
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I've got a broken mirror up here,
in my room with a broken ceiling.
There's lot of things that's broken,
like the way that I've been feeling.

No, I'm not complaining,
everyday I try to fix this
when I join them back together,
but still there's something missing.

Got a torn up piece of paper,
and a pen that I don't like.
But I'm writing out my story
'cause it makes me feel alright.

Everytime I push the pedal,
I hear all kinds of creaks.
and I'm wondering if Heaven
is free from all these things.

'cause the world I've known so far
is so full of broken things.
I guess I could sing a song
while I fix my broken wings.

How about a broken song?
We can sing forever.
Don't think that it is easy 'cause it's not
How about a broken song?
We can sing together
You can fill the pauses when I stop.

Everytime I get my lyrics wrong
Would you mind if I sing a broken song?
Comments & reviews · 7
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Songwriter
Review
Songwriter wrote a review · Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:35 pm

I thought this was amazing!! :D

User avatar
GeeLyria
Comment
GeeLyria commented · Fri Dec 07, 2012 5:42 pm

Just six words:

I want this to be featured.


Arcticus
Arcticus replied · Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:00 am

What an awesome review ;) Thanks


GeeLyria
GeeLyria replied · Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:55 pm

xD Welcome.

User avatar
anna91423
Review
anna91423 wrote a review · Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:34 pm

This is really good and such an interesting idea! I loved the rhyme scheme because it was unforced and the half rhymes gave a broken disjointed feel which is so perfect for what you were trying to express. The break down of the structure of the stanza's also expressed this perfectly. I'm always a fan of rhetorical questions in petry because they force the reader to think about underlying meanings. I really, really enjoyed this, well done on writing (another) beautiful poem! :)


Arcticus
Arcticus replied · Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:20 am

Thank you :)

User avatar
HHemayed
Review
HHemayed wrote a review · Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:54 pm

Wow!I love it!That's exactly how I've been feeling for the past few months. I think it's absolutely perfect!Well done!
One last thing, do you mind if I copy it to keep it with me?
I'm looking forward to reading -and enjoying- your amazing work. :)


Arcticus
Arcticus replied · Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:20 am

Thanks :)



A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
— Unknown