Nightmare,
creeping into your dream.
Some familiar faces
are scarier than they seem.
***
Do they want your love
or do they want your hatred?
All domestic scenes
become devilishly sacred.
***
Your internal truth
is violently set free.
All your running will never
get you away from me.
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139,388 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Hello FireEyes,
I hope this you find well.
I love the first two lines because there is so much meaning behind them. These potentially two lines potentially change the whole poem. This feeling of your worst fears, so horrible they keep you awake at night. Like the monster under the bed or the trauma from an accident.
The stark contrast to the first two lines seems to remind you of what is going on. This tormentation of knowing your worst fears are a reality. Knowing someone you love or someone you know could be scary and ghoulish.
The hard-hitting truth that it isn't just somebody you know, it's someone you love is heart-wrenching. A lover, sibling, maybe a parent. Someone you love with all your heart betrays you and makes you feel worthless. Makes you feel like they don't deserve your love.
This screams couple, lovers etc. Some type of partners. It also shoves one word in my mouth: Domestic Violence. It makes you think about a life disrupted and strewn about. All because of someone else, someone you love with all your heart has made it that you have to live in such a horrible way.
Your internal truth, something rocketing from inside you. Like hot ash tumbling away from a volcano. This truth that you've known is inside you. Something you've needed to do or say but suppressed and subdued.
This last line gives me two ideas. Either the narrator is actually the tormentor and this poem had just been a sadistic representation of someone who thinks they're better than everyone and that they are the ones being wronged. Or the lover has finally realized what they are doing is hurting the person they most love and is trying to stop, when it isn't that easy.
Overall the poem was really nice, it had immense meaning and feeling behind it and I admire that. The feeling of disruption is further accentuated by the fact everything is strewn about on the other side of the page. I really enjoyed reading it.
Good day/night,
Lehmanf
I would first like to start by saying that I love how this poem connects with the reader. It brings you into your own mind to think about your own nightmares. I would say that it would be even better if it was longer and had a bit more detail.
All that aside let's look deeper.
"Your internal truth
is violently set free."
I love this line. It really shows how your nightmares are just what's inside coming out. Sometimes it's your mind playing a trick or maybe it's a real feel. I just think it's crazy what the mind is capable of.
"All domestic scenes
become devilishly sacred"
When I read this I think about how things that can me so much to you or things that you enjoy can get twisted in your mind. I'm not sure if this was the way I was supposed to look at it, but you can always let me know.
"Some familiar faces
are scarier than they seem"
This part also sticks out to me. Sometimes when you dream it's the people you love most that are hurting you.
This is it for now! Thank you for sharing your skills with this poem and hope to see more like them!!
-You have been visited by LiviK
This is so good! I love how you structured it and the descriptiveness, this is gorgeous!! <3
I liked this poem. It conveys how a nightmare is inevitable no matter how many people hate them. Great Job.
Oooh…cool poem.I love how ominous it sounds.Is the main character a good person or have they done unforgivable things in the past and now,they’re going to pay their debt for it? Could the character,in fact,be the monster described in the poem and is telling us,the readers,that they’ll kill us? Overall,I enjoyed this read.I hope you have a lovely day/night!
Nightmare,
creeping into your dream.
Some familiar faces
are scarier than they seem.
It seems like the main character is feeling betrayed or threatened by someone close to them.
Do they want your love
or do they want your hatred?
All domestic scenes
become devilishly sacred.
Again, it seems like the main character is skeptical as to whether or not they can trust someone who seems to have very dark intentions.
Your internal truth
is violently set free.
All your running will never
get you away from me.
It seems like the main character was the one with dark intentions all along...
Overall: I really like this poem!