Hey hun I am here to review these poems of yours. They are very good, in a nutshell.
So, I like the combination of the words sonnet (i.e. 14 lines) and sanitorium in the title. It definitely hints at the concept of the piece, that being mental illness. As this is a short work, a million interpretations flourish in my mind.
Dancing silhouettes of a madman
I think in poetry sometimes but can't speak it
Articulate jibberish in fact
More so when in love
Cliches by the dirty dozen
Pout out over my tongue
Faster than a lightning bolt.
If we look at this stanza alone, we can get a sense that this person is...well, insane. Even when in love, they try and fit in too well, by uttering "cliches by the dirty dozen", showing how hard it is for them to integrate into society. I like the addition of the "lightning bolt", used to emphasise their frantic mind and mood swings (I say mood swings because I can assume that it comes along with being 'insane').
Now, the next stanza is a bit more complicated to work out, but that is not in any way a nitpick.
I'd hold the corpse and gyrate around
Until its shadow faded and only
The hearty meat was left
But biting into nothing was self-deprecating
About an invisible girl dead at night
Making wrist tracks and headaches
And I end up in the asylum.
The first line reminds me of the part in the Romeo & Juliet ballet, when he is dancing with her "corpse", as "gyrate" would suggest. I can assume the "invisible girl" is the narrator addressing themselves, and they take a liking in self-harming, "making wrist tracks and headaches". I assume the "headaches" are to herself? Or to others? Either way, this poem has a negative message, but that doesn't alter my opinion of this work.
I love you <3
Points: 40
Reviews: 279
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