When I am alone, I think
How little I actually knew you,
How many things were left to do.
How many stories you had to tell;
I still imagine how your chest
Might have rose and fell.
When I am alone, I think
How you always wanted me,
To sit with you and make you tea.
How you would say I have a busy life
I would smile and say,
We have a lot of time.
When I am alone, I think
How strong your heart was;
How you never made any fuss.
How you were always there
But maybe I took you for granted,
I hope you knew I always cared.
When I am alone, I think
And try to imagine your face,
When you were in life’s last phase.
Maybe you thought of me;
But I was not there,
I regret it every moment, you see.
When I am alone, I think
How you left us alone that night;
Your corpse seemed to glow bright.
I got to know in the morning
There was so much I had to say,
But it was now time for mourning.
When I am alone, I think
Whether this weight in my chest,
Will ever come to a rest.
If only I could talk to you
One last time,
I would explain how much I love you.
When I am alone, I think
How little you actually knew me;
How many things you had to see.
But Fate and Time are both deceptive,
They take our decisions
But that is how life is.
Now I am alone I think
How life goes on, despite everything
How people vanish within a blink.
Changes in climate, season or weather
No one can ever fill that empty place,
In my heart that belongs to you Grandfather.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
That was an amazing poem! My eyes filled with tears as i read it. You expressed every emotion and memory so beautifully and articulately that I could really feel the effect of your words. All in all, it really was spectacular
Hello runawaylove! Here to review for the Apple Dumpling Gang! Overall, this poem was extravagant! It really touched my heart as I am dealing with the year loss of my own grandfather! This poem was very impacting! The style of your rhyming was superb! The rhythm and rhyme was perfect! I don't know how else to express this but to say that your writing spoke right to my heart! Gahh.. now you have me at the point of tears! I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandfather! I couldn't really find anything wrong grammatically with this piece! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your writing!
~BlimeyLimey217
Hi, runawaylove! FireFox here to review your poem for the Apple Dumpling Gang! (Yes, that is our name!) I know this is quite a personal poem regarding your grandfather, so I kept that in mind as I thought about this review.
Needs Improvement:
1. Grammar. I won't nitpick, as I know others will, but you had just a few slight grammar issues in this piece that are really not a big deal. Grammar is easily corrected.
2. Perhaps to add more description and make the piece more personal, you could describe how your grandfather looked when he laughed or how he walked. It would give us, the readers, a more personal connection to the piece and to you, the writer. I know I would personally enjoy seeing that added into this poem.
All in all, this is a beautiful piece and there is nothing that I would change about it. There are just certain pieces of writing that come straight from the heart that were meant to come out a certain way. You can change emotion and you can't change what's in your heart.
-FireFox
*Applauds* Bravo! May all who read this head it's warning.
Seriously though, my condolences, and may you remember to tell those around you how much you care. In short, a very moving poem.
Very passionate and deep poem... It is truly an awesome piece of poetry. The person is alone and thinking, wanting, hoping to speak to and be loved by his/her grandfather. Time takes its course, though...
When I am alone, I think
How you left us alone that night;
Your corpse seemed to glow bright.
I got to know in the morning
There was so much I had to say,
But it was now time for mourning.
You poem doesn't seem to have the traditional rhyming pattern, but in most of the stanzas the second and third line seems to rhyme. And I love how you put the same line in the beginning of each stanza. All in all, a beautiful poem!
i never met any of my grand dads so i kinda understand where you are coming from. nice poem.