I see, the bees harbored their backs;
relented and sigh,
the roses have refused to bloom
and season passes over time.
Oh, the locusts jump!
Passing through the field,
across the green grass and weeds.
Look, the Peony flower-bud is waiting for you!
Rain has been settled and Lilies bloom,
the pool is always hold yearning.
O Frogs, jump into your dreams,
before the season turns cruel and lilies wither away.
I was wondering,
why the fireflies shall bow,
at the feet of candles,
to embrace the love that burns?
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
Hey Dark!
Hearts here to do a quick review for you. Okay, as I was reading through, I realized that through all these words, I could see a pretty good scenery, those bright flowers and so much of green, perfect picture which you don't get much from all sorts of poetry. I love that fact. Although, what I thought was the flow in the poem is missing and it just seems that bits and parts of the scenery is connected and put into one whole poem. Another nitpick was also the ending was just incomplete. I think you should work on that a little more, and you can get this one to be a wonderful poem.
All in all, your description is really good and I enjoyed reading this. Let me know if you have any other works to be reviewed! I'd love to read them.
Keep Writing! ~
xx
Hearts
Wow....
So, I started reading this and I thought "I don't understand..." Then I realized I didn't care, because that was part of what made it so alluring. There's a mystery to your poem here, trying to connect this series of random but crystal-clear images that flashed through my head. It's beautiful. Thank you so much for this wonderful read!
Glad you enjoyed it
This was really good, your imagery is amazing. I also liked everything that you had in this, the frogs, the locusts, the rain, etc. You sort of just threw all these things that are connected but not really connected together into this and it came out beautiful.
The only thing worth going all "reviewer" on is the fact that the third stanza has four lines instead of three. It does break the rhythm a little, but not to much so if you want to leave it like that you should be good.
As for the question on the end, I have often wondered that myself, living in a place full of the little buggers.
All-in-all, very well done.
Peace,
HT
Thanks for review
Sure I will fix it soon.
Here for the knights of the Green Room.
Wow, that is so imaginative and vividly descriptive, with interesting metaphors. I especially like the last stanza. The part with the fireflies and then candles is cool.
I see, the bees harbored their backs; relented and sigh,
the roses has refused to bloom
I think you should divide the first line into two. Also, it should be the roses Have refused to bloom, not has. Or if it is has, then it should be rose, singular, not plural.
All in all a pretty good, poem.
Keep it up!
Thanks,you really help me in grammar
Thanks,you really help me in grammar
You're welcome. We all are bad at something in writing. I put too many commas and usually people say i don't have enough description