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Re: The Fabric of Me
The poem jumps from one picture to another. One moment you are talking about something and then you shift onto something else. Is that a bad thing? Not really, I ...
May 14, 2013 -
Re: Black and Blue
okay I think the only problem I have is with the second stanza. The lines make it a bit odd to read, the last two lines specifically. I adore the ...
May 14, 2013 -
Re: The White Tree
I dare reviewers to find the rhyme scheme of the poem. While it's not necessary to have a rhyme scheme, it sometimes makes up for a tough time reading when ...
May 14, 2013 -
Re: Generation, Generation
Nice one. This is what a poem should be like, it's got something about it. One slight problem, the last two lines of the second stanza sound a bit odd, ...
May 14, 2013 -
Re: Teenage Love
This is short, this is somewhat repetitive, and this is not at all complex. While it's not necessary to crowd your poems with words and imagery, I think this poem ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: "Come home.." (Rewritten)
This poem has a certain calmness about it, a certain degree of quietness. Are you sure about the word 'essense'? Isn't it supposed to be 'essence'? Pardon me if I ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: Drinking Goodbye
How moving! It has some really strong emotions flowing through it. It's officially the best suicide poem I've happened to read and honestly speaking I haven't read much. But this ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: The Brave One
What's up with all the short poems :P You do realize how hard you guys make the job for reviewers by posting these kind of poems, don't you ? :D ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: choices
This just leaves me wanting more. It's beautifully simple, hauntingly cute. Why didn't you add more to it :P I totally understand it's your choice and being lengthy doesn't mean ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: Delusion
Don't you think you'd have been better off putting these in stanzas? I mean I can see the rhyming going on so why not? There is minor punctuation problem in ...
May 13, 2013 -
Re: Tick Tock
What a great line to start with "ends wait from the beginning of days" That's just genius. I do not see any problem with you work content wise at all. ...
May 12, 2013 -
Re: six words poem
how exactly does one put a poem in six words?! That is something beyond me. But I understand what you wrote above was a strong feeling that you have somewhere ...
May 12, 2013 -
Re: Senseless Words (Senseless World)
Why would you call this a senseless story? It made quite some sense to me. It's quiet, I'll give you that and a bit different but certainly not senseless. I ...
May 12, 2013 -
Re: Almost
It's a unique idea, isn't it? You're comparing a candle with something or someone who is ignored, yet you mentioned that the bed and stairs are admired. Anyway, I like ...
May 12, 2013 -
Re: Deleted
How about a bit of punctuation friend? :P Anyway apart from that I felt some words sentences were twisted in structure just to keep up the rhyming. People often end ...
May 11, 2013
