Young Writers Society

Hey there!

I concur with the previous reviewers when they say that this was cute; it was a rather feel-good poem and it's always nice to read one of those. I'm not sold on the opening line however, though; it doesn't strongly pull your audience in and make them want to keep reading the poem, dear, and the first line of your poem should be intriguing enough to do just that.

Similarly, the middle line, She thought and thought till she knew who she was. feels like it could be delivered better; I like it for its simplistic style but at the same time it seems to change the pace of the poem and consume a rather significant amount of space without contributing much of an idea to the poem; instead it could be changed, perhaps nixed altogether, revised to be she pondered and decided or something along that path.

Hope my feedback helped a little,

June

Nice! I can't really say I have a negative comment about this poem! It's cute, short, simple, and yet holds an even greater meaning . Sort of says "follow your heart" ! Cool, keep it up!

~Speakerskat

Fantastic! Superb! I simply love this! How could anyone NOT like this poem? This is so simple, and cute, yet it has so much meaning to it. You definitely know how to put thought into the most simple of things. You are a fantastic writer, keep on writing!

AHHH!!!! I love this. I love simple poems. I enjoy the rhyming very very VERY much. I love the ending. I honestly don't really know what to say. I just loved how cute and simple it was. It was taking everything and saying. It's adorable and sweet. It's happy. It's not "I was on a roller-coaster and I was happy". It was internal happiness. It was the feeling of relief when You finally realize, hey I'm just gonna be me. Keep writing please!

I love that!

I love it, it just fills me with heartmelting joy. Literally a good poem I read on here so far. Really interesting concept of what the future may hold and the determination to make it set. I said it once I'll say it again, a lovely poem. I would honestly love to read more from you. :]

This just leaves me wanting more. It's beautifully simple, hauntingly cute. Why didn't you add more to it I totally understand it's your choice and being lengthy doesn't mean being better. You haven't really thrown forward much to review about. It's quite straight forward, no vivid imagery, and I do admire italics towards the end. Well, keep up the good work. Cheers.

I agree with Catnip, this is cute and beautiful.
I think, this is what people go through in their life. I love how you've written this piece so wonderfully with lots of emotions put in.

"Her lover across the street told her to be his wife.
While her friends told her to be free."

I just looove this, its completely adorable.

But all up its just the cutest thing, keep writing!

~Winter

HI!
This is really simple and cute. The most interesting thing about it which drew me here is the fact that it has two connections to my work(s).

The first connection is that I have a work called "Who am I?" as well. Including the question mark. And the second connection is one of my characters to a story I had been writing's name was Mickey and she was a girl as well! Mickey is such a cute and unique name for a girl isn't it?

So with that said, I do have some advice for the poem. Personally I don't think that "Who am I?" really works with it. And I say this because in the end of the poem the reader still does not know who she is. But the reader knows she will be herself. So, technically from the way that I think you are trying to write the poem, I don't think it works. I think that "Who should I be?" would fit the poem better as a whole. Because her family and friends are telling her who she should be, and she ends up choosing.

Another thing I would advise is if you just sort of switched it up a bit, like instead of
"I will be an artist and I will sail the seas" it becomes "I am an artists that will sail the seas"
"I am the wife, who is free"
"But most of all, I am me," Also, lastly I would actually love a little more information, but I know I don't like it when people tell me to write more, when I had a personally selected amount to write, so I can understand if you don't want to write more. But I would surely recommend it.

So that's my take on it I think it's cute!

Aww, I thought it was super adorable ^-^
The tense in some areas is off, like it says:

"Mickey sat on the tall oak tree next to her house and thought, Who am I? Her mother told her that she was an artist"

"Her father told her that one day she -would- sail the seven seas."
Other than that I thought it was really sweet and had a simple, yet wholesome message c:

Sorry I'm no better help lol

Catnip~~~

Your poem is kind of adorable, so I really don't have much to say. I like the way you used italics at the end and a little at the beginning to signify her cognitive thoughts. I guess what I like the most about it is the simplicity of it. I only have a couple nitpicks.
1. "Her mother told her that she was artist" Add "an" between "was" and "artist."
2. "Her father told her that she would one day she will sail the seven seas." Cut the "she will" in the second half of that line, it doesn't make sense grammatically.

Yup, that's it! Other than those tiny grammar mistakes, this is really cute! Keep writing!

This is beautiful.
The flow of this is wonderful. This is very realistic as well. It painted pictures in my head while I was reading. I like the usage of italics towards the end-very nice. Punctuation is spot on, along with grammar and spelling. There isn't anything I would change about this. Great job, keep up the good work!
~Kat.

Hey there, littleauthor. (sidenote: your username is really adorable)

Anyway, this was an endearing poem, and very well-written for your age especially! Although simple in its presentation it has a very wistful quality about it that's really charming. I like the dreamy nature and simultaneous strength of the "protagonist," the unique format, and the smart approach to this. It's simplistic, but cleverly-written.

In any case, I hope to see more of your work in the future! Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx