six words poem

Hey there, Flower,

I'm a big fan of six-word stories and poems because I always find it so great to see what people come up with when they're so restricted. Every word contributes such a significant amount to the overall poem that nothing is wasted.

Nevertheless, I feel like there's a bit left to be desired here. I know that it's only six words so there's not that much room for expansion, but the purpose of six word poems is to deliver a strong message to your audience in only six words, and while this does deliver a strong message to your intended audience, it's very generic. It's not unique to you, dear, but most of all, it doesn't tell a story. It's pleading, it's wanting, whereas a story would state a fact and tell us about the state of something, which is why such short pieces are traditionally presented outside of the "I" (first person).

Hope that helped some,

June

Interesting, but does this really count as a poem, it may be in some new format that I haven't known about since I was living in a cave for the past 18 years of my life. I honestly believe that if it were titled as something to really convey it the right way, but I am not a critic just stating my own opinion on your work, after all criticism can mold anyone to what they really need to be and that includes writing to their full potential. I digress, really interesting though, a strong sentence that will put a picture of someone in their head they really want to be with, and literally flaunt it around inside. In a creative standpoint it could’ve been a lot more interesting, like an idea were that each stanza end in the word as written it may have really bring a little more feeling in it.
For example:
Words words words I
Words words words Really
See what I mean, this work has some really creative potential, try to think of how to convey it more creatively.

Hi flowerteen! Sorry if this sounds critical, but I'm not sure this qualifies as a poem. There is no meter, flow, stanzas, ect. This is what I would consider a six word memoir. A six word memoir is how you would sum up your life in six words. Exp: Loves the books, books the love.

As a six word memoir, I think that this is brilliant. But as a poem, I think there should be a couple more lines to really let the reader understand your message. Don't let these reviews weigh you down. I look forward to future poems!

Hi I agree with cgirl1118, I don't believe that this can be counted as a poem with no stanzas or things like that, but it was nice to read because it leaves it up to the the reader to interpret. Good sentence though. It did really make me think, good job.

Hi,

This is not really a poem. It has no stanzas or metaphors or any kind of figurative language. It is simply a sentence. However it is a sentence that makes others think. Maybe you can make this into a haiku or something. But try to expand it a little by putting more details. This can become a good poem but right now it isn't.

Sorry if it is a little mean and critical.

This is great, although it is not really a poem. It makes you immediately think of someone. It's short and stays in your head.

It's a strong sentence, but maybe could have been expanded on to add more of an affect on the reader.

It may not be a poem, but it is really clever and strong.

Well done!

This is a masterpiece. This is the first poem I actually connected to.. This is just amazing. It has explosive feeling between every letter I can almost see the sparks. The way you the font is in bold just makes it even better! I adore you for this! The dot in the end of the sentence... Wow I don't think I've ever seen a period stand out so much. It almost blinds me.

The use of the word 'want' caught me off guard. I expected the typical 'love' thing. But no! You socked the word when you invented this. Want, to desire something. You desired this person so badly that you had the guts to dedicate a whole poem towards them.

The fact you want this person WITH you brings out very naughty feelings inside myself. It makes me wonder, why? What will this person do with the other? Wait? Is this even about love? This person might want to hurt the other that badly, or kill, or maybe just an innocent hug? The sentence you magically wove and presented to us has officially hit one of the best works on YWS I have ever had the honor to look at.

The first letter you used. 'I'... There is no better way to describe yourself. That letter completely takes your whole personality and implodes it into that compact space. The direct use of 'really' before the word 'want' just blows the roof away, it gives reader the idea that nothing in this world or any other in any of the 32 dimensions can stop you from wanting this person. WOW.

I have nothing more left to say to you but,
I really want you with me.

how exactly does one put a poem in six words?! That is something beyond me. But I understand what you wrote above was a strong feeling that you have somewhere inside you. I realize that feelings can often feel like poems. Even I write poems only when I feel something. It begins with some six or five words only, but then I elaborate it. Keep writing until it's all out there. That's what I think you should do. When you're feeling something strong, trust me you can go on writing lines after lines about it. It will all just come to you. But that my friend is certainly not a poem, it doesn't sound close to being a poem. It sounds more like a statement filled with feelings for someone. I would love to see you add a few more words to this. How about a stanza at least. I, by no means, am degrading your skills as a poet but only encouraging you to describe what you feel in a more elaborate, conventional poetic manner. I'll wait for another piece of work from you. Cheers

I really
want
you with me

That is a poem.

Helo Flowerteen!

So this poem really isn't a poem at all. It is just a punctual statement. A "whimper" if you will onto the "bang." Try adding more stuff to it! This is just another sentence, not really a poem. One idea you can do is try to subtly give the hint of this WHILE in the poem! Otherwise, this isn't a poem.

Peace! ScandalousPhoenix

This is more of an emotional statement than a poem, since a poem is defined by having one or more stanzas, which is defined by having two or more lines. You have one line. So either change the title or add on to the line, but other than that technical bit of stuff there is literally nothing to review, so yeah.