an unexpected sorrow

by waywardxwanderer

Published March 30, 2021

12+

In Poetry

life is fragile, precious, gone

a candle snuffer sitting o’er the sun at dawn

clamp a cup over the newly budding lilies of the spring

and watch them shrivel beneath its darkened weight

fragile souls, fragile bones, fragile beaks, fragile homes

shattered at the whims of the water and the cold

foolish mistakes and taken lights

how i wish they had the chance to grow old

Comments & reviews · 2
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2021

Hello! Forever here for a short review!!!

It was a wonderful and a great read! I don't have words to express my feelings. I really like reading short poems. Life is sorrowful... I have a question– why didn't u use caps? Was it intentional? If yes, then also I think u should capitalize the i in the last line. And you should use punctuation marks.

Overall, a very good poem! Keep writing!

~Forever

thanks!! the no caps was intentional. thanks for your review!

User avatar
pineapple321
Review
pineapple321 wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2021

Hi, Pineapple here for a little review!

Wow, this poem was a great read. It was short and sweet yet made the reader ponder. It sort of told a story as well. Your word choice was excellent and the way you described things was great, too.

My favorite lines were "life is fragile, precious, gone" and "foolish mistakes and taken lights". I liked the first one because life is definitely something that could be taken for granted. I liked the first line because everyone makes mistakes but whether they fix their mistakes or not is up to them.

Your title was also cool, too. I didn't really know what I was expecting so it made the read exciting.

Overall, great job on this. I hope you keep writing!

Signed,

Pineapple

thanks so much!! I appreciate the review :)



Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.
— Carl Sandburg