A sweet serenade.
Clamouring syllables aching to be heard,
but the corks in our ears prevent it.
A composition of earth, melody of the sky,
each feathered note clashing together in glorious discord.
Home is not a thousand sounds of chaotic harmony.
Warmth is found in the icy water and in the
breezes that shriek softly as they slice our skin.
Deeper and deeper we crawl, away from it all,
away from the beauty of the comforting but uncaring topsoil.
She looks disappointed, but all we can see
are the stones over our eyes,
blinding us to the harsh nature
of the runaway.
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139,885 Literary Works • 672,791 Reviews
Hello, hi, greetings, salutations, good evening, good morning, good afternoon, good day, and good night. as well as many other pleasant and wonderful things that we do not have time for as it is indeed time for a review. Anyway, Wolf here.
This is quite a beautiful poem. Its pleasing to look at and to read. Your words and lines flow quit well although at first the rhythm was a bit hard to decipher, no matter though it is still there if at all a bit hidden. I did quite enjoy reading this and I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Keep writing my friend.
May the force be with you
Live long and prosper
In the Pen,
Wolf
thanks for reviewing!!
This poem is amazing! Why have I not seen any of your works before??
Your word choice is also great, like where you say 'feathered note'.
There's a lot of personification, which makes it all the more interesting.
There are also oxymorons used. Though they enhance the point, I think that some are too contradictory.
For example, in the part where you say
'breezes that shriek softly as they slice our skin.', shriek softly just sounds a little weird to me.
That's just what I feel, what you do in your poem is totally your wish.
Anyway, the poem was great! Keep Writing!!
Thanks so much!! And I'll definitely take that into note
"Deeper and deeper we crawl, away from it all,"
wow I loved this line.
thanks!!