Young Writers Society

Hello! This is such a cool poem, and I love how you personified sunshine and rain!

"A sprinkle of heartbreak and a / light precipitation of sorrow" is my favorite line because the imagery is so gentle. I also love how the rain can never find sunshine whenever he looks for her. I only have a tiny critique, and that's where you end your lines. For instance, I would add "for" from the fifth line into the beginning of the sixth, and then I would move "and a" to the beginning of line nine. It makes more sense to me to not end a line on a preposition and instead end it on a noun so that each line can stand on its own.

Overall, I really loved this poem! All the words you used fit perfectly(especially "torrent") and the story read like a fairy tale

Hi! This is nightshadows bring a new comment live to a theater near you! Ok, so enough of my weirdness here are my thoughts:

Ok I love this poem!! Its so cute and its like I can almost see the story playing out in my head!! Great job, that's something very hard, to try and illustrate the scene or the story ti the reader in perfect detail. The only thing I would criticize is that for someone lacking a bit in imagination it would be hard to understand the tale you are telling. But besides that you did such a great job!!! <3