& again & again & again it plays its tune
this summer of loneliness
this summer of freedom
this summer of fireflies and sweaty palms and wanting to
leave
leave
leave.
the leaves crunch beneath my feet and i thought
they were supposed to be alive in the summer but
i thought that about me too and
yet here i am in this haze beyond it,
beyond all the people i loved who left
who are so far away and
why can i never say what i feel?
what i feel is too rotten,
what i feel could never sit among the vegetables
in the walmart produce section,
what i feel would mold the tomatoes and
slough the apples to sand.
i keep turning back and tripping over
my own feet looking for something different,
something old not like
the endless spiderwebs in the cupboard of my ribcage
but like books with too-cracked spines and
statues rusted green with the
life
life
life
that surrounds it, old like
the memories I keep trying to build a home in,
old like the broken-down house that comes of it.
but here i am in this tomb of a bed again and
the sun through the slats of my blinds is blinding and
the light i keep getting caught in is not this light
but an emptier one which
strips my wings of their moth-scales and
turns my eyes an ashen gray.
but the stars come out at night
and i think i understand icarus a little more
now because who could not lose themselves in their brilliance?
this one decaying life is nothing to an instant of touching a star.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hey,
I absolutely loved this. I really related to it and almost cried. How you describe the feeling that your thoughts and feelings are bad and out of place and way to unhappy that it feels like you could take someone down because of how bad it feels. And when you say that you thought you'd feel more alive but now you don't. You described everything so accurately that its just really got to me. Because it's like "Yes its summer, it's a good thing" but when you get to it it still doesn't feel like you expected it to.
I really loved this, really. This poem was completely amazing.
thank you so much for your review!! on one hand i am glad it resonated but on the other it kinda sucks to relate to this poem :/ I hope you are feeling better or that you will soon
Hello! This is a random weirdo here to give you a short review.
(Sorry in advance; this probably won't be very long.)
Wow, this is surprisingly sad. (Are you okay?) I kinda didn't expect that when I first clicked on this poem, but it's obvious how sorrowful it is from the very first line. If you were trying to pull my heartstrings, well, *sniffles* you did an excellent job.
I love how you separate the "life"s and the "leave"s. It makes it that much more powerful. (Though they words alone could break any heart) The descriptions create this eerie feeling that's hard to shake off, as well as the message behind them. The message itself (to me at least) is kind of fuzzy and hard to interpret. That allows many more messages to come through to different people, even some that you weren't aware of yourself. I love it when this happens. Complex poems that require you to sit and think a while are my favorite kind, but they're hard to pull off.
In all, I adore this poem. It's executed beautifully, and it just seems so magical. Thank you for writing it.
I hope you have an amazing day/night!
thank you so much for your review!!! (,: i'm doing much better now, thank you <3
HI there! I saw this and it was just freshly posted so I wanted to review/comment on it. Ugh, I love poems about summer. I love summer but I sweat a lot.
"& again & again & again it plays its tune
this summer of loneliness
this summer of freedom
this summer of fireflies and sweaty palms and wanting to"
When I first read this, I felt like I was listen to a song about summer. The repetitiveness of "& again & again...", "leave leave..." and "life life...", just feels like a song to me. It is good and fun to express your feelings about certain thing like how each season or weather matches your mood. Like this poem.
The second stanza felt very realistic yet poetic. And sad though. You miss you family and that summer was suppose to be bright. The leaves were suppose to be up in the tree but there are on the floor, crunching under your feet. Like your current feelings about life and how you are doing. I hope you are okay though. And I hope you get to see and be with your loved ones. Overall, writing-wise, it is beautiful, even the message.
Have a good day/night! Keep on writing!
thank you so much for the review!! i'm doing a lot better now than i was when i wrote this
have a lovely day!!
you're welcome!