Petrichor followed wherever she went
All the places she’d gone and the time that she’d spent
Her laughter still echoed in melancholy scent
Petrichor followed wherever she went
Wherever she’d go was the soft sound of rain
All her skipping and smiles, all her aches and her pains
Through e’er looming trees by the side of the lane
You can listen and still hear the soft sound of rain
Puddles would gather wherever she’d roam
They’d gather in rocks and the welcoming loam
She never could find a good place to call home
So the puddles would gather wherever she’d roam
Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your respective time zone. Anyway, onto the review. What drew me to this poem among others, it the title. I didn’t know what it meant. It seemed mystical and mysterious(until I read the definition directly below it XD). But not unlike the title, the poem was wispy and dreamlike, following a consistent and beautiful rhyme scheme. Your poem also had repetition, with the last word of the first and last lines of the “stanza” repeating, giving it a loop like feeling, that allowed the reader to sense that whatever the “stanza” was describing would happen again.
I’m sure you noticed the fact that I put “stanza” in quotes. This is because there are stanzas in your poem, they just aren’t separated with a line break. Some people might like your poem to be structured that way, but I personally think the way your poem flows without them followed the theme of the poem better.
The topic of your poem is interesting. I’ve tried to creat poems like this, but I’ve never fully captured the majesty of the rain like you have. I think my favorite line in your poem was the line:
“Her laughter still echoed in melancholy sent”
It was a beautiful line, that allows the reader to visualize the sent, and taste of the petrichor. It also gives this sensation an emotion, which is something I’ve never given thought to. I’ve never thought of the rain as happy. But this line beautifully expresses the mix of joy and sadness with the two words ‘laughter’ and ‘melancholy’, which to be honest, I never thought I would see those two words in a sentence, describing the same thing.
All in all, this was an amazing poem! I hope to see more of your work around. Stay safe, and keep writing!
-Lizzy
Heyy! Forever here with a tiny review!
Wow, the title. The word "petrichor" has its place in my favorite words list. So, the title attracted me. First of all, with the interpretation of "she". I couldn't understand who this she exactly is. Sometimes, I kind of felt it's a personification of rain but at times it kind of felt she is a normal human being. If I go with the latter, how can petrichor really travel with a human being? It's not like whenver a human being goes somewhere, it starts raining or is it? Now going with the former, the poem kind of goes with it. So, let's assume, this "she" is a personification, I can be tremendously wrong tho.
Tuck already mentioned the other points like breaking it into stanzas. Three stanzas will do, I guess. You haven't put any punctuations tho. You have gotta put the punctuations in their required places. Without punctuations, the poem is bound to feel rushed.
All the places she’d gone and the time that she’d spent
Hey there waywardxwallflower! Tuck here for a review for you.
I was immediately drawn in by this title. Petrichor is one of my favorite words (and favorite scents). I also really enjoyed the rhyming scheme -- it felt appropriate for the theme and feel of this poem. It gave the poem a melancholic, almost whimsical feeling. To me, this poem is about enjoying the presence of someone, seeing their beauty, and reflecting on the way that that person made you feel. I think that's something very worthy of writing poetry about. It's a difficult feeling to capture in words, but I think you've done an excellent job of recreating the emotion of longing and love in just a few words.
Looking at this stylistically, there are a few key observations that I have. First, I noticed that you chose to use a very traditional style of capitalizing by capitalizing every line. I think that this works well for your poem, particularly because of the rhyming scheme and repetition that you employ. If you're ever interested in reading a bit more about the effects capitalization in poetry can have on a reader, there is a fantastic KB article detailing the pros and cons of various capitalization methods.
I also noticed that your entire poem is a singular stanza. This can work for poems as short as this, but it can give your poem a "rushed" feeling. Considering your themes are more contemplative and gentle, I think inserting one or two stanza breaks could give the reader a slight pause to let them ponder the previous stanza. It could also add some emphasis to your repetition. I don't mean to overwhelm you with KB articles, but this article on stanzas goes a bit more in depth about what stanzas are and how they affect the reader's perception of the poem.
This was one of my favorite lines of the poem. I can clearly imagine/hear a gentle laugh echoing through the after-rain humidity, lingering in the air. It creates a really beautiful picture and fits well with the themes of the poem!Her laughter still echoed in melancholy scent
If I had to pick out a least-favorite line, in contrast, I would probably identify this one. It seems to go against the theme of "her" -- the person the narrator is describing -- bringing sunshine and joy and instead suggests that she is bringing rain. That in and of itself is not necessarily incompatible with sunshine and joy, but it goes against the image-emotion links you previously established -- connecting the end of rain (petrichor) with happiness, linking storms with bad times. I hope that made sense -- it's very possible my brain is just distorting themes or looking too deep, but I wanted to point that out regardless!Puddles would gather wherever she’d roam
This was another one of my favorite parts of the poem. I had to Google what loam was because it isn't a word I've heard before, but now that I know it's meaning I love this descriptor. It's brief but powerful and creates a powerful image. Well done!welcoming loam
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