Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This origin story made me wonder about a lot of things. I am going to focus on it specifically as well as the whole thing. So, we are now entering the supernatural stage where murders are happening by some supernatural means. Okay, going back, Isabella promised herself that she would take revenge on Lucas and pain him as much as possible. When you said it, I thought that she would not kill him but pain him a lot in his human life. That didn't happen. Instead, she killed him. I don't know about the relations between people in afterlife. I mean Lucas turned out to be a demon. That's clear but what did the others turned out to be? I would like a bit of clarification on this topic. And also, if they have any sort of fight in afterlife.

Near about everyone is being killed and now I am afraid that thid town of Richardson will no longer be a town of humans. Rather, it will be a town of afterlife creatures. Like, everyone will be dead in no time. I don't know what to expect after this. Maybe some more characters being killed and also, some fights between the deads.

Now Samuel. Seems like he loved his sister very much and cared about her. He had to go with her to the circus, even though he didn't like it at all. Or maybe, he did like it but he preferred TV over the circus. Here, the circus scene was a bit confusing. Like why would people go to mock someone's death months after they died? That doesn't seem very practical. Also, from the little I have understood about Samuel, he doesn't seem to be such a person. I guess you have got to find some other reason for him going to the circis and it's bettef to remove Bubblegum's murder from the story. The person to tell him can simply be soemone else, maybe Isabella.

Now Lucas. Lucas was being very very sarcastic here. 'Fun man'. I wonder if he actually did some funny jobs in the circus. I mean at least in the front of the audience. Did he perform or he was simply the owner? Now Lucas has gained a human form. I don't know if he is still a demon but at least he can trick people to believe that he is a human.

I wondered about something else that is not included in the story. Why didn't the police do anything? As it is set in 90's, I do expect the police to do something. Like so many people are being killed and the police are quite silent. That's a bit strange. Also, I would like to know how the murder of Isabella and William was discovered. As far as I can remember, Lucas buried them into the soil in the jungle. How were the discovered? Did Isabella do anything? Another one, why didn't Denise inform the police?

And as for your question, I am not the most sure but it should be either Isabella or Gabriel. Perhaps both of them at the same time.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this is not something I was expecting to see, I thought all the characters were done after Lucas, but hmm, we have somewhat of an outsider's point of view being brought in here with Samuel and I like this, the ending certainly was quite a twist that I did not see coming, the whole Lucas turning him into a demon and becoming human part.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once upon a time,in the 90s,there was a boy named Samuel.Samuel Clarkson,to be exact.Samuel was ten years old and he was living a carefree life with his parents and his seven year old sister,Melinda.

One day,a man named Lucas opened up a circus.Everyone started flocking over,it was the next big thing.

Naturally,his family went,too,because who would want to miss out on a circus?

Samuel thought that the whole thing was overrated.Why did people want to go visit a stupid circus when they could do better things,like watch T.V.? That was wayyy more fun than watching some idiots perform useless tricks.

But,he continued to visit it,because his sister liked it and he had no other choice but to go with her.

Months had passed since he heard the news.The murders of Isabella,William and Bubblegum the clown.(Some clown who performed at the circus.Samuel didn’t know his actual name.) There were also two little girls who died in a fire.

No one would dare set foot in the circus because of the deaths.Only some came to mock Bubblegum’s death.No one really cared about him and neither did Samuel.

So,one night,he snuck out,to run into the circus,go to the place where The clown performed and laugh at how Bubblegum died.

When he got there,he was having a grand old time mocking this clown’s death.

But,he felt someone was watching him.

He stopped with what he was doing.

“Run,kid.There’s someone behind you.” A mangled,strained voice warned.It sounded like Bubblegum,but like he was choking.

Samuel turned around…

A gray demon in Lucas’s ringmaster suit stood behind him,with a knife.The demon reminded him of Lucas..

He smiled.

“You know me.I’m Lucas,the fun man of the circus.It looks like someone dropped by for some games!” He squealed.

Samuel tried to run,but Lucas grabbed him by his arm and dragged him to his tent,where he removed his eyeballs,sliced his body and transformed him into a gray demon.

When Samuel was a demon,Lucas gained a human form.

“Thanks,kid.You really helped me out here.” Lucas laughed.

Samuel felt like crying! He knew his family wouldn’t love him once they saw him in his demon form! He was dead,too.

If only he didn’t come to the circus to make fun of someone’s death.If only he stayed at home like a good little boy..

…If only..

If you read my other origin stories,who do you feel the most sympathy for? Comment below!