Annabelle-Lee Richardson’s song (reprise)

Hi!! This was a short poem that managed to tell a story. The overall mood is spooky, and also gives a sense of isolation. Maybe because the girl Annabelle-Lee is orphaned, or is it because no one believes her about what happened? The fourth stanza seems to suggest that,

Now she’s the quiet one of the town

Never gets a word out, that Annabelle-Lee

Unless it’s some sort of ghost story

Are they calling her story a “ghost story”?
I like the ending where she starts to make sure that what happened to her doesn’t happen to anyone else. I only have one suggestion, the second line of the last stanza feels a bit long.

Making sure another soul does not join the many other screaming and crying ghosts

Maybe it could be divided into two lines instead? I’m not sure if that’d be better but I feel like it would fit in with the rest of the poem’s format that way.
That’s all I have to say. Have a great day!!

Time for a Black Cat Review!!

MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

First thing: I am not completely caught up on all of your stories, but I want to say this. The ones I have read are always amazing and I have seen an incredible amount of growth in your writing and everything of yours that I have read, I always love! I hope you know how cherished your writing is on YWS, by me, and I am sure so many others too!!

Okay anyway, on to the review

We start out really strong. I love the use of dame and shame:

The dame had a Mom and a Dad

A shame Momma died, cause’ from then on, Annabelle-Lee changed

And ending with the word changed goes well with the rhyming too! This flows super well. Awesome.

She was lonely and empty inside

Never the same again

She only had her dearest Daddy

After her poor Mommy hit the bucket

I know that this is just a song connected to your story, but I love how well you express what is happening. You use direct language to tell a lot at once, but I think this gets your message across really well and makes more engaging!

We see even more awesome rhyming here:

Never gets a word out, that Annabelle-Lee

Unless it’s some sort of ghost story

I find that you repeat Annabelle's name a few times throughout this song, but you pull it off really well. Often, repetition in songs/poems can become very noticeable, but I think the way you did it does not make it seem repetitive.

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

Maybe for this line:

A demon y’all may know as “The fun man of the circus”

Instead of quoting "the fun man of the circus," you could try to use italics? This is a very nit-picky sort of thing, but I feel that italics would better show that this is something being spoken, rather than written. Totally up to you though!


Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I love this verse:

Annabelle-Lee Richardson

The dame had a Mom and a Dad

A shame their lives went down the drain

Now she’s The Mayor, The Leader of the town

It rephrases what we heard in the first verse but changes things. I love the repetition. I love the changes and development we see in the characters. I love the language. I love it all!

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

I enjoyed reading this song! Thank you for sharing! Please do not stop sharing your talents and light her on YWS

Your friend,
Ellie <33

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!