*This song/poem is underneath my folder titled “Town of Richardson”. It’s the last song in the “Town of Richardson” series! Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33". Enjoy!*
Me and the clown (The clown)
The clown, he’s my brother, you know
He’s got a name that no one remembers
A name no one cares to know
He’s been with me since I was small, he’s always been the sweetest
Sometimes he’d take me to perform with him at his wonderful circus
And now he’s a maggoty corpse rotting in the dark
The corpse was once alive with color and joy
So as a grown woman, I sit and wonder to myself:
“Is he alright?
What is his afterlife like?
Is there even a next life?”
Oh, how I wish I knew of what brought him to such despair!
Something I’ve missed, perhaps?
Something my nine year old mind couldn’t handle?
What was it that made him this way?
Could someone let me know?
Me and the clown (The clown)
The clown, he’s my brother, you know
He’s got a name that no one remembers
A name no one cares to know
I don’t know how or why he died, but I believe that what happened was an unnatural, unexplainable death
And I’m going to find out what went down that wretched day
The day my brother was taken away
Even if it costs me my head
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well this is quite the little tale being told through this little song here. One of what seems to be quite a lot of heartache and a lot of sadness for the poor singer of the sing.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Well looks like the brother there is a bit of a forgotten entity judging by that description. Certainly a moment of sadness for the poor guy although we don't know if maybe that's deserved at this point.
Well that seems properly horrifying. We definitely need to be feeling sadness for the poor brother here. That question got answered very quickly there. Definitely a lot of sadness coming in now.
Well that seems like fairly reasonable things to ponder there although the sadness is oozing through there. You do get a sense that she cares quite a bit for her brother and is hoping something good happened to him.
Oooh well that suddenly makes things much more interesting. Our wonderful protagonist here doesn't even know how the brother came to be that way. Well that adds a whole other layer of sadness on top.
Oooh lovely ending there. The repetition really echoes through what our protagonist here is trying to see and in the end we really feel the pain and determination they feel.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall I think you've done a great job showcasing the bond that they share and how much pain and anguish this is causing as a result of that bond here. Really nicely done!
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
The second paragraph showed the special bond between the siblings. They shared many joyful moments and supported each other through tough times. Their relationship was full of love and laughter, creating a strong foundation that helped her cope with the loss. Together, they built memories that would stay with her forever, even in the face of sadness.
The lyrics expressed the girl's deep feelings and her strong desire to understand her brother's death. She sensed that something was not right and felt determined to uncover the truth. At such a young age, she must have faced a lot of pain and confusion. Questions about why he died and how he died filled her mind, swirling around like a gust of wind after a storm.
Overall...it's a good song. Really sweet