Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!
I haven't read the story "The town of Richardson" so, I will be focusing on this one only.

She lived happily with her husband,Lucas and her son,William.

You see,one would think she was happily married,but that is not the case.

These two lines feel contradictory. Like one moment you were saying she was happy and the other moment you were saying that she was not happy. Stick to one. As the latter part of the story justifies the fact that she was actually unhappy, it's better to remove that first part ehere it says that she was happy.

I wonder about the Lucas. He doesn't really seem to be very normal person. Like he was frustrated and we can see that from the story but why he literally killed them and did so many evil things? To me, Lucas kind of seems like psychotic and I wonder why the others, William and Isabella didn't understand it. Now, if he was not a psychotic, he definitely had a very evil business behind that circus and that might also be the reason why he didn't like William helping him. He feared that his surreptitious business would be exposed. I wonder about what it really was.

Now to Isabella. She seems to be a good person. Keeping faith in such a person seems to be really hard but still she kept her hope alive. Sad that it died later and obviously, she too died. Death of a good woman. We don't know much about William but he too seems to be a good pwrson judging from the fact ghat he wanted to help his father in his work. I wonder if he died too. Maybe he died or maybe he didn't.

The story seemed to be a very fast recapitulation of all the past that happened. Maybe it's something like a prologue to that story where Isabella along with William plans to kill or at least pain Lucas. The ending was quite a good one that left the readers thinking about the fate of Lucas and if William is actually dead.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm baack to see yet another origin story here...and we know for sure that this one ends in a death too, but lets see how she saw things go down as opposed to the sun.

First Impression: Hmm, I don't know how different this would be since we've already seen this same story from two different POV's now, but this did show us quite a bit more than I was expecting it to. You manage to quite a few different new insights from this perspective and it was another interesting read.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once upon a time,in the 90s,there was a young woman named Isabella.She lived happily with her husband,Lucas and her son,William.

You see,one would think she was happily married,but that is not the case.Lucas owned a circus and he always had to work there.He had no time for his family.

What angered Isabella even more was the fact that William wanted to spend time with him and work with him,but Lucas never seemed impressed.

Hmm, okay, right away we're seeing some interesting things here. We get to see what she thought of William spending more time with Lucas, although I do get the feeling she's not necessary mad at William for doing but she's simply mad at Lucas for not giving William the time of day and not being impressed. That shows quite a bit about her personality as a mother.

Now,Isabella could have divorced him and taken custody of William,but she decided to give Lucas a chance.

Isabella had voiced her feelings to Lucas multiple times,but he just brushed her off.

Now,she was getting frustrated.But some teeny,tiny part of her still believed Lucas wasn’t all that bad.

Hmm, so it looks like despite all the things that Lucas did to upset the whole family, Isabella did genuinely love him enough to always see the good in him and kept giving chances. That was probably not a great plan cause it did lead to both her son and her dying, but it does tell you about what their marriage at some point may have been like.

That part disappeared when Lucas said he wanted to turn Leona and Amelia,the two little girls who visited the circus,into skeleton-vampire hybrids and lock them in the circus,as an attraction.

Isabella had had enough.She called Leona and Amelia’s parents and told them what was happening.They thanked her and would turn down the offer of their children getting poisoned.

Then,Isabella woke William up from his sleep and told him to follow her.He did.

She and William would go to the circus and make it wonderful! They’d make it more popular,the two of them!

Okay..that part comes out a little rushed there, it looks like the whole poisoning call and then this visit to the circus happen on the same day, which I think was already clear in the previous but then we got the impression they were leaving to look into what Lucas might have done but here it looks they just went to check the circus randomly? Its a touch confusing. I do however the detail of how she warned the parents about what might happen there.

As they were working,they smelled smoke.Coming from the Richardson house.

Isabella frowned.Lucas came rushing into the circus,holding a lighter.

“Did you..burn the Richardson house down because you were angry?” She asked,more than a little upset with him.

“Why do you care?! They didn’t listen,so I retaliated!” Lucas yelled.

Then,he ran towards her with a knife.

“RUN,WILLIAM!” Isabella screamed before he killed her.

Oh wow that is even more terrifying from that perspective. She just asks the one question and immediately Lucas charges at her to kill her without any sort of real provocation whatsoever. That shows you just how much of a rage Lucas might have been in. Its hard to see what could've overcome him enough to commit that much murder that one day/

When she woke up,she was dead.She felt it,in her veins,that her son was dead.But she couldn’t find him.

So,that day,Isabella vowed to reunite with her son and get back at Lucas in the worst way possible.

Oooh, yet another person in search of something and this time with revenge on the plate as well...ahh, we've got ourselves yet another and rather motivated ghost here...and Richardson is truly starting to get quite packed here isn't it?

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I'm really loving these little origin stories now. I'm definitely reading through any more that come out. The actual story is a little bit long but once I find some time, I'll try and read that one too, these all really make me want to check that one out.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry