Young Writers Society

Hello, Vampricone!

First of all, just the fact that you wrote this has made me so happy. I was mostly joking in my review, but I do not regret it at all. It's such a sweet moment that shows us that Gabriel doesn't have to be consumed by the demon within him. Despite everything that's happened to him, he's still sweet and genuine. And honestly, it makes his character much more compelling because we get to watch him triumph over the demons that want to ruin him. This story just made me so happy. With that said, let's get into it!

I’m sorry that I slapped you earlier. It was never something that I did in life, and you certainly didn’t deserve it. I got frustrated that you wanted to die because death is such a horrible thing. It’s torture, and I wouldn’t wish it upon you. It’s not worth it for someone you love. It’s not worth it for you to die for me. So, please keep living your life. I’ll never slap you again, but you don’t have to forgive me. I just want you to know that I’m sorry.

This is such a well-written apology. It shows genuine regret and the sake of apologizing not for a selfish reason, but to make the other person feel better. It makes Gabriel likable and relatable because he just made a bad decision in the heat of emotion, but he doesn't have to be defined by it.

Gabriel would never take his anger out on her again.

Good! Character growth! We love to see it!

He had to keep Gwyneth away from the horrors.

What a good big brother. I'm sure you'll do a good job, Gabriel <33

And that's the end! Overall, I just loved this story. I'm sorry if I pressured you into writing it and I hope you enjoyed it because I certainly did. It shows how strong Gabriel is and how much he's changed. Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.

Happy Writing!
Wist

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

Well this is a very sweet little piece, owning up and apologizing for a mistake that was committed and being able to be honest and vulnerable about it. Its quite a powerful moment.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Gabriel formed in Gwyneth’s room, slightly brighter than the moonlight casting from her window. He had been thinking about when he slapped her earlier for far too long, and he couldn’t bear to dwell on it any longer.

Gabriel tapped her wall so that she’d wake up.

Gwyneth opened her eyes, which were confused at first, but then widened in fear. Fear that he gave her.

Gabriel didn’t waste any time. He wrote a message on her wall with just his mind:

Oooh well looks like Gabriel caused a bit of pain there from the looks of it and regrets it enough to come back and apologize for it even thought its clear Gwyneth doesn't expect it and is simply terrified the moment that Gabriel appears in this moment.

I’m sorry that I slapped you earlier. It was never something that I did in life, and you certainly didn’t deserve it. I got frustrated that you wanted to die, because death is such a horrible thing. It’s torture, and I wouldn’t wish it upon you. It’s not worth it for someone you love. It’s not worth it for you to die for me. So, please keep living your life. I’ll never slap you again, but you don’t have to forgive me. I just want you to know that I’m sorry.

There. He wrote it down. He may have been becoming a monster, but he would never be a monster towards Gwyneth again.

“You’re really sorry?” Gwyneth asked. Her voice had a hint of hopefulness, as though she wanted to be sure.

Well looks like his apology really does come from his heart there, I certainly find myself believing it and it seems Gwyneth feels it too and hopes it is but of course Gabriel's past actions seem to make it a bit harder to just immediately accept it.

Gabriel nodded.

“Okay then. I accept your apology. But please don’t do that again.” Gwyneth said.

She still loved him, even after what happened. From that moment on, Gabriel would never take his anger out on her again.

Gabriel wrote a message on the wall:

I won’t.

“Okay!” Gwyneth said with a smile, her demeanor regaining positivity.

As he faded away back to the circus, he thought to himself only one thing:

He had to keep Gwyneth away from the horrors.

Well that's quite a noble goal there to end. Looks like through it all there is some true love between the two here and they very much do still love and enjoy each other's company and despite it all Gabriel will work to protect her from the horrors.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think one of those moments where we see a wholesome vampricone story but one that also possess a little more weight in how that wholesomeness was earned. I think in some ways this is my favorite style of story from you.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate