Young Writers Society

Incredible, incredible! It makes me purr.

You've really got rhyming poetry down, which I love. Inspiring imagery, lots of emotions, um...I really can't say anything bad about this!

out of the darkness and inot the light,
we search for a chance to get into the fight.
Out of the starkness of love gone awry
We mumble and stumble, set wings -and then fly. (how do you set wings?)

For no one knows our pain
no sympathy, no gain,
and here we come, here we come
out of the darkness
again. (that stanza was way cool!)

Out of the blackness and into the dawn,
blink at the light as the nighttime is gone.
Out of the blankness of awe-filled despair (ok, i don't know about you, but i've never been in awe while i'm despairing. just a little weird.)
we look for a sign that there's somebody there.

But no one knows our pain
no sympathy, no gain,
and here we come, here we come
out of the darkness
again.

Out of the shadows and out of the shade,
out of the miserable life ("that") we made,
glaring the sun down, and daring eclipse,
Hoping mortality offers its lips. (this line was a big "what the heck?" in my head.)

Hoping someone knows our pain
and with sympathy comes gain,
so here we come, here we run
out of the darkness
again.



OOOOH, this is so cool! I'm amazed at the level of your writing (no offense). There aren't very many thirteen year olds who think like you and aren't ashamed of it. Very, very cool. Keep it up.

wow , this is beautiful

kim