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Young Writers Society



Broken Hearts

by moosiegirl


Whenever I'm on his bed,
With your old black hat hanging on my head...
I see you with Angie every day.
I want to mend my heart, make it go away.

CHORUS:

Broken hearts don't fit together,
Broken hearts just fade away.
You try to put them back together,
But the pieces slip away...

END CHORUS

I'm losing my mind,
I'm looking for you.
My hands are searching for the pieces,
Of you and your smile.

Those memories of your blue jeans,
and your ratty coat, the smell of sin.
I'm feeling like an empty bottle,
Come fill me up and drink awhile.

CHORUS

I won't be that girl,
I swear forever to this day.
You left me for that angel name,
The devil's masquerade.

CHORUSx2

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758 Reviews

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Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:35 am
Cade wrote a review...



Gosh, get some punctuation in here! And capitalization and whatnot.
"I'll be that girl", great! You got that song by the Barenaked Ladies stuck in my head. Good music, theirs.
Yeah, this is nothing new. Some Kelly Clarkson chart-topper pop hit? Yeah, not going anywhere with these lyrics.
When you write lyrics, you generally don't include extra letters to show where you're drawing the notes out. You don't have to label the verses either. We can count.

Colleen





As a former (and rather excellent) liar herself, Aru knew that, sometimes, speaking the truth felt like wrenching a thorn out of your side. But doing the opposite meant pretending it wasn't there. And that made every single step ache. It was no way to live.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality