Young Writers Society

Its akanbright here for a review. I kind of like this poem so much, with respect to the fact that it is titled "untitled" makes more sense.
If I am to review your work, I would like to first give a precise analysis of whatever it is you have written down. It is not off sense to say that man must surely return to the dust from whence it comes and this is very demanding of us while we are alive, as everyone surely tend to make the best of life, while they are still leaving.
But one thing i would like to pount out to you, and if I am correct, I think the you were actually talking about "the end of time and so on", where man would have to leave what he possesses here on earth.
If this is true, then you don't have to say "I wish to be eternal" because even those who are condemned to hell, are living out eternally and so you must learn to not necessarily omit certain idealogies when writing out a piece of poetry.
Most of the times, the things we know do not always necessitate the efficiency of our poems, but the things that happens around us.
I think even at this, most of the words used aren't counter-intuited, counter-constructive or contradictory, but aren't properly lettered or take deep root in the meters to make proper comprehension.
Notwithstanding, its a nice one and I hope to review your work some other time.

I was heart-broken after reading this.

But, why haven't you given a title? Why is it untitled? I think you should provide an appropriate title. ‘Untitled’ is not the suitable title here.

i will cease to exist

it's devastating that, one day,
my mind will be gone,
my thoughts sent back into the void.

ceasing to exist,

is not on my to-do list.

i'm damned determined to find

a way to outrun that end of existence

wish to be eternal,

i wish to run among the stars, never burning out,

i wish to be free,

i wish to be a nomad traveling endlessly.

i wish that i would not have to let the curtains of my life close,

but really,

do i have a choice?