i close my eyes and
i picture myself
standing barefoot in the crisp stream
of a place i’ve never dreamed
of a place i’ve never been
yet this stream
clear water, teeming with trout, ancient,
transports me.
~
deep breaths to steady my stance,
birds chirping in the background of my cleared thoughts,
liberation is mine.
~
i am free, in this image in my head.
my body may be stuck-
whether i be in jail or at work-
(what’s the difference, really?)-
i will be free,
as long as i can imagine myself
barefoot, toes in the water in a woodland stream.
imagination is free, can free, and costs nothing.
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140,714 Literary Works • 673,675 Reviews
Really loved these lines! An 'ancient' stream yet 'teeming' with new life is a really nice image, especially since it's so specific (trout!) It feels like the 'jail/work' thing kind of appeared suddenly, and maybe wasn't quite as developed as other parts of the poem, but hey, maybe that's intentional for the message.
Good work with the writing!
Hi! Thanks for your review!
I like this poem.Too often,we feel the need to relax and go to our imagination,to take a break from reality.This poem was lovely to read.I like how you ask if there is a difference between work and jail,because work can feel jail.Once we imagine,we’re relaxed.That’s something that is known.I hope you have a lovely and great day/night.
Thanks so much!
Hey, I'm D!
First off, I really enjoyed reading this poem - it has this contemplative, calm tone to it.
I found it interesting how you divided the stanzas each to depict a different atmosphere, it kind of helps the reader flow with the words and envision themselves. And that brings me to my next point - I absolutely loved the imagery sprinkled in throughout!
The first paragraph sets the tone and atmosphere and I loved how you built on it from there and the concluding stanza was beautiful!
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm new at reviewing and hope you found this helpful!
-D
Thanks!