Young Writers Society

Hi, it's me again. Another good poem here. It's got such a somber theme, but it's arranged artfully. Your capitalization is proper, in that it occurs at the beginning of every sentence, but it otherwise appears random to the eye. Maybe you could go ahead and just capitalize the first letter of each line, or not at all.

Your repetition of the word "red" gives the recurring idea of blood, which I'm sure is what you intended. However, it might serve you well to come up with some synonyms, at least in the first few lines. The way the first and last lines are identical is great, but the other occurrences of the word "red" sound a little redundant to me. But it's not bad the way it is. Just my personal suggestion.

Once again, good writing. Keep it up.

I love this poem. I like how you worded it. You are great at making poems. My favorite line is

A man walking,

with the illumination of a cell phone lighting up his face and

a drunk driver collide,

a collision of fates,

but not in the way anyone wanted.

The snow appeared red.

Hi, I’m here for a quick review!

I really liked the repetition of “red” in this poem - it reminded me a lot of blood, which of course leads onto the man being hit. I also enjoyed the imagery in this poem, and a line I’m absolutely addicted to? “a collision of fates” An absolutely gorgeous line that completely sums up this poem for me!

As others have mentioned, “the snow glowed red” sounds quite unnatural, and I agree with Momo that glistened could be a better alternative.

Something else that I found could be improved is the structure of the poem. The lengths of each line didn’t really mean anything, and mainly just confused me and made the poem more difficult to read. For example, the sixth line seemed unnecessarily long, especially compared to the rest of the poem where each line is quite short.
Another thing about the structure is that although I did like the idea of red blood with the headlights, the first few lines all being about the red snow really took away from the narrative for me. I feel as though you could have done a lot more with that poetic narrative, such as expanding more on what happened when the man was hit, but instead “wasted” a few lines with repetition.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this poem, but the structure seemed a bit off. I hope to read more of your work in the future, and have a great day/night!

first of all can I just say you had me by the first line!!! as a writer that appreciates dark writing let me just say i loved this... " the snow appeared red" i literally cannot get over how much i love this line!! its insane. anyway though, so about the poem, It was narrative i will give you that, the characters came to life for me and the persona of the poem was literally in my ear yelling for my attention. i really really liked this it was so good for me like on a real do keep on writing. you do know what you are doing!!

Hi fleuralplants!

Glows:
This is a really nice poem with some interesting imagery. I especially loved the line,

"Painting a red tint on the snow."

And

"a collision of fates"

Grows:
This poem seems a bit repetitive. That could be intentional, but its a bit annoying. Maybe don't put the word red on almost every single line? Also, like @LordMomo said,

"the snow glowed red"

doesn't seem right.

Spunkyspacekitty

Momo, here for a short review!

It's a good poem, and I like it! The description is really good. The sentiment is sad and sweet. There was one thing I wanted to point out. Here it is!

The snow glowed red.