where did the last week go?
it’s like i am losing time.
the days fly by,
and i just watch and observe.
where did the last day go?
i didn’t even notice that,
the date has changed,
and i just watch and observe.
days, weeks, months, go by.
i am strapped in a car with
no driver, and i can’t climb into the front seat.
we speed by days, weeks, months.
there is nothing i can do,
to fix this way i feel,
to fix the way days go by.
i am condemned to be a
backseat driver in my own life.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Ah I can certainly relate to the days going by really weirdly due to all the stuff going on during Covid! It's tough, hang in there!
You too!
Hi, I’m here for a quick review!
To begin, I really like the repetition you’ve used in this poem, e.g. “and I just watch and observe.” I feel this helps show how repetitive life is, specifically during this time. I also like the use of words like ‘condemned’ in this poem, as they help show how trapped we all feel.
I am really enjoying the car metaphor used throughout this poem. The idea of being trapped in the backseat of a car with no driver is actually comparable to the current times - we are being brought along for a ride with an unknown destination and driver, which is portrayed very well in this poem.
A couple of things which slightly confused me:
“backseat driver”
This doesn’t really make sense to me, as I thought the whole idea was that you weren’t driving and there was no driver, but “backseat driver” seems to imply that you are driving from the backseat. I don’t know if I’ve missed something, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.
“i didn’t even notice that,
the date has changed”
This may be very petty, but if I feel like the ‘that’ at the end of that line breaks the flow of the poem and is quite clunky. I think if I were saying this sentence aloud I would say “I didn’t even notice the date has changed,” rather than “I didn’t even notice that the date has changed.”
That’s all I have to say about this poem, except that I feel you, and you’ve described this feeling really well. Excellent job, and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
Hi! I was kinda trying to go off of the phrase %u201Cbackseat driver%u201D, where you give tips and instructions to the real driver in the front seat while you are a passenger (if that makes sense). Thanks for your review! I appreciate it.
Don't know why it looks like that haha! It's supposed to just be "backseat driver"- mobile made it look weird.
Ah, that makes sense!
Hello @fleuralplants! Maryah popping in here to give you a review! Just wanted to say that this is a really good (yeah sorry I'm not very good at using more specific kinds of words so this is the best I can do
) poem. I can totally feel you and I just wanted to say that this is the most well-planned title I've seen. I really like the last two lines "i am condemned to be a
backseat driver in my own life." so relatable. Anyways, I think this is an amazing work of art
Thanks!