On that slide
I lost my second tooth.
On that swing,
my best friend told me
that boogers taste
like salty chocolate
and made me try some,
and over there, by that gate,
a boy told me
that the f-word
didn't mean 'friend'.
Small, brown playground,
classrooms painted
in thoughtful pastels,
saw a different girl,
an innocent.
I am ready to move on.
Whatever charm was once here,
Whatever maternal touch
is no longer what I need.
Mine is the world
Of hard angles
And bright colors
And chrome.
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140,565 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
I agree with Misty and BFG. I especially liked the mpersonal touch at the beginning, it added profundity to the poem. It was brilliant.
This had a very complete feel to it. I liked the details, the specific examples at the beginning. Very nicely done. Part of me felt the ending was a little lacking, but another part of me felt that it was meant to be that way, since it was a personal poem and that was the part at which the audience was meant to sort of slip away quietly, as the narrator gained strength and was able to reflect in on herself. Both parts of me were glad that the ending wasn't too drawn out, that it was nice and compact and rounded off the poem. Really good work - keep writing!
This is really amazing. I enjoyed it. It had a real touch of nostalgia about it. It was the last three sentences that made it, though.