Softly lullaby
Sweet child sleeps like pearly dawn
Memories will fade.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,214 Literary Works • 676,885 Reviews
I too like this. I noticed it was a haiku from the first time I looked at it. I especially liked the pearly dawn comparison. Memories fade was interesting too.
Wow, i like this. Nice.
I like it. It's very peaceful. I'm not really big on Haiku usually (I guess in general I favor rhyming poetry), but this is really nice. I can almost see the mother rocking her baby to sleep. As I said, very peaceful.
Sorry.
...That was probably the least helpful crit I have ever written.
Oh wait it is Haiku I didn't read the subline oh lol! It is still awesome I am not very good at Haiku. Awesome job!
It sounds like Haiku!:) lol But it is sweet reminds one of a mother watching her baby sleep and thinking of how memories like this will soon be forgotten. All in three lines pretty good. I really like it.
Wow..
Nice but seriously - how short? You need to beef it up a little and give the reader more information and imagery. This was nice but it started and ended within seconds and although that works sometimes - it didn't here.
Even if you just use three or four more lines extra, it would be a nicer end to it because the reader would have more material to work with.