How Long

by arianaSarroyo

Published September 16, 2013

E - Everyone

In Quiet Voices

How long will we sit and let this bloodshed last?

How long will it be until this injustice is a thing of the past?

How long will we stand here as suffering reaches new heights?

How long will we watch as innocent people lose their rights?

How long will we will accept this violence?

How long will we betray the world with our silence?

How long will we leave children without a voice?

How long will we choose to allow suffering when we have a choice?

Comments & reviews · 3
dragonfphoenix wrote a review Review · Sep 17, 2013

I believe you want poetry for your categorization. This doesn't fit as prose as it is now. Unless you're going to come back later and answer all of these questions in a more drawn out way. So then it would be prose if you did that. However, if you wanted this to be a poem that answered all the questions, you could write a second stanza with the same tempo to it.
Now, for the actual work itself, here's why it's a little difficult to review. If you want it to be a poem, then you need to work on the rhythm a little. It's pretty good, but it's just slightly off.
But if it's prose, then it leaves a lot to be considered, and you make no attempt at giving answers. So I think at the very least you should settle whether this is prose or poetry (and I have a feeling you're leaning towards poetry).
Hope this helps!

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PeaceLuvPoems
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PeaceLuvPoems commented Comment · Sep 17, 2013

I really like how you used the repitition here! I also happen to know that finding good rhymes is not very easy! So good job on that! I really like the message that this is sending, and Think you did a great job!

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ajruby12
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ajruby12 wrote a review Review · Sep 17, 2013

Hey! ajruby12 here to review.
I really like how thought provoking and interesting you've made this! I think the word choice is good and the phrasing works well. However.. I'm not a person who likes repetition of lines, so this is simply my opinion.. But it just bothers me a tab bit when every line starts with the same thing. Also, I think an ending would suit this very well, just to tie things together. But I really like it!



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