Anti drug poem

Hi, Buzz here to review!

Well firstly, I loved the message behind this poem, it had a great moral lesson to teach and the rhyming worked coherently with the rest of your poem, which can be tricky to do at times.

As much as I liked the message, I felt like it's nothing I've never seen before when it comes to drugs. The emotion was okay, the language was okay, the lesson was okay. But I felt like this poem had so much potential to make the reader feel totally put off drugs if they were on any, it needed more power.

"Those substances you use are not worth your time
The poison you use kills your brain cells and poisons your mind"

This is a good opening but naming some harsh chemical substances and their danger could have worked well here. The second line is what most drug addicts already know, but when you mentioned the mind, that's when something interesting could have emerged. The mind psychology and state is what ruins people most of all, perhaps the illusions, confusion and depression that goes through the mind could be a useful adjustment in my opinion, but you are the poet.

"That one night worth of glee
Is not worth your destiny"

Is being intoxicated really having, "glee" or the person on drugs may just Think they have glee. Just an observation. I liked the reference to it not being worth their destiny.

"With those substances you use, you'll never have the chance to grow"

This line is a bit repetitive to the first line.

"Because trust me, you will."

This was a good ending it was like a lasting warning for the potential drug user. Just a suggestion - I think if you also included the harsh reality of the consequences of drug use, that could have been very effective.

Overall nice work, Hope I was of help to you, definitely keep writing!

Hi there! Happy Review Day! I'm here to review =)

So I have to start by saying this is a nicely written poem. It has a lot of meaning and, most importantly, a message. A lesson. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would.

I think I'm getting lucky picking rhyming poems as I enjoy reading them, and you did a fantastic job with rhyming here. I think there's only one line though that doesn't rhyme and probably should be reworded/changed a bit so that it does rhyme and match the other lines. I'm talking about the line "Won't matter once you've thrown your life away." I mean unless you did this on purpose, then yes, try rewording. Also, the last couple of lines has a different rhyming scheme than the previous ones. Do you know what I mean? Like two lines would match and following those two lines would be two more lines that rhyme with each other. And it continues like that. But the end, it doesn't go that path.

But if you did this on purpose and you want it to be like that, then by all means, leave it untouched! You know your poem better than anyone else =) So what you say goes.

I think this was a nice poem. It has meaning and isn't dull. It's interesting. You're really good! Nice job =)

Hi ArianaSarroyo!

I liked this poem white a lot. At first, when I was reading, I thought that it was going to be about suicide (which was stupid, meh), but as I finished the poem, I understood that it was about drugs, and smoke, and whatnot. It is very educational poem, not like schools and stuff, but I think if what I think you mean by this poem is what you do mean (stop using drugs) you will manage to convince a LOT of people with this. Great job!

Keep on writing, mephis.

Such a good message, thanks for writing this! Keep writing about things that matter like this. I know a few people that could use a look at this poem.

I think my favorite line is this one:
"That high running through your veins will eventually drag you to an all-time low."

The action verbs like running and drag add motion to an already fast moving poem, which is great. The reader feels the rush and drop.

A few critiques:

I like the ending but I think it would be more personal if you said trust me, instead of trust us. Who is us? The poem doesn't specify. It's just my opinion but saying me makes the message more persuasive and personal. It's like a one on one conversation with the speaker and reader.

Also, to me, "that one night worth of glee" would make more sense if it was "that one night's worth of glee."

But that's just me, I understood what you were trying to convey. The message is strong and so is your stance, which is great!