Princesses and Princes

I know the truth about the Disney Princesses, and let me tell you, Ariel doesn't make it past sundown. She turns into seafoam and dies. The sea-witch lived happily ever after the end. YAY!!! I love when princesses die! (NOT!!!) Well, maybe Snow-White. She has an annoying voice.

Ha ha I enjoyed this greatly, I hate Disney movies they're just a big ball of crap in my eyes. (and they are all the same, where's the unhappy endings.) But anyways, this was incredibly unique and beautifully written, with of course a tint of delicious humor XD! Finally someone creates a whole new story for these princesses, and I love the fact you added this

Are they really that happy?
Smile, laugh, smile, laugh.
Their princes are with other princesses,
making-out and sexing up like they don't got a wife at home.

Of course tv isn't going to show, and of course they don't want to be realistic they just want children to grow up thinking men can pick every women up off her feet, and women don't have to work hard they just have luck (unrealistic) But you revealed something different, you showed your fiction that speaks the truth, great job with that. And we all know better than to believe these princesses are all happy and smiley like freaking clowns, smiles are only a mask.
My favorite part also:

Knock down the doll house,
burn down the hotels,
crush all the candy canes,
fire all the ugly maids.

Cut off all the Barbie's hair,
Break off all the ken dolls legs,
Call all the Prince's Ho's,
Tell them what he's got at home.

Bake up all the cookies,
lace them with cyanide.
Give them to the Prince,
see how he likes to die.

Especially that ending see how he likes to die, it just gave me this intriguing chill down my spine. Cut off barbies hair, break off ken's legs, I was always like that as a little girl (I was always a dark sided person XD) It was so exciting all these stanzas, somewhat like in a death metal song they have the chorus, but once it hits the bridge I go crazy rocking out, all these stanzas were like that which I thought was perfect. First you rhymed but then you didn't which broke the flow a bit, but it didn't really bother me, I was too entertained XD. Thanks for sharing this amazing poem, I hope to read more of these. Rock on!

Hello, lovely, let's settle in for this.

First of all, I have to say that for me, personally, I find your use of punctuation distracting. You have punctuation at the end of every line, and it gives the poem a very stilted, jumpy feeling to it. You don't need a comma or period at the end of every line, especially when it's not grammatically correct (first line to second line, for example). Punctuation exists to give the reader a place to breathe: Commas are a quick breath; periods, slower; and semicolons are somewhere in-between, but they've got very specific uses.

Secondly, your meter seems to be a little... strange. It felt solid enough in the first three stanzas, and there was a bit of character to the rhythm, especially with the lines at the end of the second and third stanzas being longer, but still matching. However, as the reader progresses, the meter gets more and more disjointed, and it's harder to follow along coherently. If this is intentional, to make the image of the life seem even more disheveled by the meter dissolving alongside the illusion (or if I've just given you a pretty cool idea and you want to use it, be my guest), then it's actually done kind of well - I would just go back and spot-check for words that sound awkward.

Overall, I think this is a kinda cute, very real idea. With a bit of polishing up - checking rhythm and whatever rhymes you want, checking for diction, eliminating the meaningless punctuation - I think it could be really good, actually. Keep writing!

Hey love!

You just wrote a poem that's right up my ally! I am laughing right now because you think like I do. A quite gruesome poem if you ask children who put all of their attention in the make up and exaggerated happiness of animated females created for the sole purpose of fitting the stereotypical image of 20th century (and lower) women. But come on, this is the 21st century and your poem exemplifies they PERFECTLY!
I love how at the very middle of the poem you suddenly switched your focus. At first you began by emphasizing how false things were and how forced the happiness of princesses were.
But in the middle of the poem you suddenly changed form a calm informative piece to a call for revolution and change.
It was powerful.
And I know you said it was just out of fun but I seriously agree with it. Let's see how Ken likes it haha!

Keep writing love!!!!

Hey! Kamryn here to review!

You go back and forth between rhyming and not rhyming and the structure makes it look more like a rhyming poem. It interrupts the flow and makes it hard to read.

I do like how you made it seem twisted. How they aren't as perfect as TV makes them. And that you included the princes too.

I know you said this was just you messing around, but I think this could be great if you took time to go back and edit and adjust the flow a little more!

With Love,

Kammies (Lylas)