Halfhearted

Hellooo...again

You must be getting tired of me and my stupid reviews

This was an interesting read. It didn't sound like a poem, more of a song, but maybe thats just me.
The flow was very good throughout this. Probably the best poem in terms of flow that I have reviewed today.
There was some repetition, which made it sound like a song to me...i think.

The last stanza was very good.
The end had a very strong impact. Good job on that.

My favourite lines were the second last stanza, Loved it.


Rating: 8.5/10


Hassan

first of all, it has a great flow.

for this
"My hands are shaking,
My heart is breaking,
and I didn't know it'd end this way.
I'm sick of just standing here,
wishing I was her.
The one you talk about,
and love. "

the repetition of the stanza gave the implied effect.

for these lines--
"Because I never meant for this to happen,
and I never even wanted to say goodbye.
I should known it would've happened...
Sometime."

they sync with something we have felt one time or other.

overall, the poem reaches the reader. great play of words.

keep writing and keep reviewing..

I liked this a lot!! The metaphor 'plastic lies' was very good, too. This is an awesome poem and I think you should make more. P.S. If you want to know why I'm 99, try and read my biography. Just don't try to take over Belladonia, because I will track you down and throw you into my Iron Dungeons. I'm INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heh, heh, heh.......... Keep writing poems or I will throw you into my Iron Dungeons even if you didn't try to take over Belladonia. I bid you an extremely friendly goodbye.

So I'm no poetry expert or anything of the such. I am though staunchy with fluidity. It was difficult getting into this piece. In the very first section "Old fake laughs" I feel it strongly needs revising. "plastic lies" I didn't feel it connected smoothly. I feel the second section could be taken out entirely. Be sure your watching you're grammer I've seen some mistakes and sheer sloppiness here and there. There was a fair amount of repition too close together, that I feel hurts the emotions you're trying to convey. Reading this I can't say I really got into the emotion you were feeling more like you were projecting without connecting. Like I've stated before I'm no poetry expert but I prefer fluidity when reading poetry pieces. The title I've no doubt you lile it. Reading the last line in your piece though I came up with At Sometime. The title feels misleading to your writing. Is this girl only speaking her feelings halfheartedly about this boy who's broken her heart and made her mad with curiosity of the other? I was lost with that.

I really liked this poem; it is so charged with emotion! First what I liked: I didn't see any particular rhyming pattern yet this poem flows very well. Many of the lines are very heartfelt and powerful; you really made me feel your heartache. At first when I saw this poem's title I thought it would be something more along the lines of not feeling much motivation in life (living halfhearted) but it was an interesting change for it to be more focused (I think) on you only having half of your heart left because he has the other half. I feel like you poem can be a little repetitive in terms of word usage (for example the double usage of "shaking") I would choose a synonym of shaking; but then again, using the same word multiple times can bring a point back home and connect those two lines. There were a few grammatical errors, mainly not including the apostrophe in the conjunction "can't". Overall, a great poem and like I said before, charged with emotion.