Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.
I will warn you before you read this that this contains information pertaining the current controversial message that woman should not have to change the way they dress to prevent from being raped. It is not graphic, rather a free-verse opinion of the way I feel.
Rape
Does not discriminate
It does not look at the color of your skin
The parts that you were born with
It looks
At the pleasure you will bring to it's body
It is not about to stop and THINK about the wrong it is doing
And sure
Women should not have to change the way they dress
because another man, woman, or even child
does not know that no means no
but when we are on the streets would you want to walk unclothed
It is the same as if
protecting our children from the bad men and women in their lives
They
Do not discriminate
Women, I am with you
I hear you
But you can wear sweats and no make up in the comfort of your home,
An intruder can break in
They do not care that you look like you just rolled out of bed
Or if you are going to a party
If you are drunk
Or if you are sober
But even when women were dressed from head to toe,
the unspeakable crimes were still committed
No one is handed an invitation to another person’s body
and I am not missing the point of this message
but rape does not discriminate
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Hi anonymous, Gaurav here to review your bold and courageous poem.
but that shouldn't deter me from reviewing this. Alright let's begin!
Just like the previous reviewers I ain't a good poet either
Personally I feel there are 2 types of works in literature. One which are built on powerful imaginations, beautiful metaphors and astounding imageries. Not necessarily fantasy but yes, they involve active use of imagination. On the other hand there are works which don't really bother about poetic/literary devices and a written more by an aching heart than a thoughtful mind. I'd definitely classify your work in second category.
Right, so first off kudos for attempting such a bold and though-provoking poem. Not many would dare to express their opinions in such a hard-hitting manner. I'm not going to pass a verdict on your statement but I'd say that your attempt was on the spot.
The problem with controversial poem is the author/poet tends to either dilute the subject or
he tries to hard to make his point. I did feel you could have slipped into the later but this poem just about managed to hold its ground.
THINGS I LIKE:
Here's my favourite part of the poem:
This was really really hard-hitting. I haven't seen such an earnest attempt in a while. A gutsy poet you're
CRITIQUE:
I have only one major issue here. It's the title. Discriminate is cliched and gave me wrong impression. I thought it might be about financial/racial/gender discrimination and it turned out to be something else. This however is up to you. If you wanna change it, you can or else this is fine.
Keep writing! This is an uncompromising and gutsy attempt. Very well done!
It is okay but it gets confusing when you get somewhere in the middle of the poem.
I notice that you comment on many things saying that "It's confusing" but you never touch on why. I know that you aren't reviewing but it would be helpful for me, and everyone else, if you are going to say it's confusing to at least touch on things that you believe make it confusing. Thanks
Hello! Magenta here for another review.
I'm no poet either, but I'm here to write a review for you. I'm glad that you've written this. I think that it brings controversies to light and shows the several sides to them. And while not all YWSers can support your opinion, at least they know about the problem. And every opinion matters. Yours is quite different. I haven't heard this side if the argument.
I'm not sure I will critique this as much, but give you my thoughts on the poem. I find it difficult to pick out grammar errors and such, in poetry. Because it is all apart of the meaning, right?
I will add that I like the way you wrote this--the way you have written the lines. It's the perfect way to send a clear message, and it emphasizes what is important.
I would usually pick out an interesting line or a favorite line, but I think it is the message of the poem that means more than the line or imagery. It is focused on your opinion of the controversial message. I think that you are right in saying the victim is not at fault and they should not take the responsibility to try to prevent it. And that doesn't mean anything other than living how you are today.
I hope to see some more writing of yours and perhaps, on a lighter note?
- Magenta
Not reviewing cos I'm not a poet but:
I think this is an interesting slant on the argument. It seems that what you are saying is that even if women do change the way they dress it won't make a difference. Really, nobody should have to do anything to prevent rape. It is not the victim's responsibility. However, the world is not a logical place. I can see that you offer no solution and what I take from this is that women might as well try changing the way they dress. I understand this, respect it but don't quite agree with it. I think if it's not going to make a difference then you might as well dress the way you feel most confident.
I'd love to discuss this more. PM me if you'd like to have a conversation about it